Want vs Need

In response to a FB post (the https://www.facebook.com/TalkLikeAMan group), sharing this link:
http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/brand-men-must-be-needed-because-we-cant-be-wanted/

I am trying, and failing, to be sympathetic to the author, at least through the first portion of the piece. It feels like there is an elephant in the room named “Be a decent human being."

The underlying thesis, that men are not wanted, is a spurious byproduct of our current societal cultural gender environment - men must pursue, women exist to be pursued - which dehumanizes both by assigning prescriptive roles, with deviation from them as being a failure to be appropriately and acceptably masculine/feminine.

I actively put myself in a position to be wanted, because… you know what, it’s pretty goddamned awesome, both to feel that positive reaction, and to intentionally support and encourage women to express these sentiments in a safe way (I am, as the HhGttG says, “mostly harmless" - I will flirt up a storm and live in a world where “ongoing yes is the only thing that means yes without prior negotiation").

Nobody likes rejection. Putting the onus of pursuit exclusively on men is unfair to everyone, but it’s understandable that women might not want to be percieved as having wants, or expressing them, because the current social climate, as well as historical precedent, has conditioned everyone to treat any expression of interest on the woman’s part as consent for overreaching and improper response on the part of the guy.

The right response is to smile and say “Thank you," and that is *it,* Anything further is done at the level of comfort expressed by the less-privileged participant in the conversation, not assumed to be carte blanche on the part of the guy.

Circumnavigating the Cone of Pwned

Magellan came through "like a little trooper" according to the vet. She showed me the peri-surgical shots on her phone, pointing out where the suturing was done, the major trauma to his big tail tendon, and that there was no issue with his lower GI tract or anything. Shaved and stitched up and coned, they hit him with some flea killer, antibiotics, and fluids.

He's got the cone for ten days, 3 days' worth of painkillers, and a round of antibiotics for morning/evening dispensation. He's shakily coming out of the anesthetic and responds to my voice and pettings.

The other big news was that the culprit was not canine, but feline. My prime suspect is Pretty Boy, who is a couple weeks removed from having been snipped, and who is still getting the aggression out of his system (he is calm around some of the others, gets in the grill of certain others, and is afraid of me) and was back for a week or so when Mags went missing.

So... that was exciting in ways I was hoping to avoid. It's never good when "I wish you'd had your nuts cut off by strangers" is the preferred option, but it looks good for our butt-shaved hero right now.