Teflon Tape, and Other Widgets

[digitaldiscipline]

Sometimes knowing what to do and how to do it don't mean something simple will be easy.  Replacing a corroded faucet falls into this category, because the faucet in question was plumbed through an ill-concieved plastic-like surround, which, while doing an admirable job of directing the last 30 years' worth of laundry seepage into the proper subterranean conduit, inconveniently rendered the fitting beneath inaccessible.



If at first you don't succeed, get a bigger hammer.  Using said hammer to variously pry nails, act as a cudgel, and ultimately whack the ass-end of a large screwdriver in an effort to dismantle the damn thing sufficiently to get at the fitting.

On the subject of getting at fittings, a momentary aside that will amuse some of you, and make others very, very reluctant to ever run outdoor plumbing - the main shutoff valve for my home's water is a foot below the sidewalk out front, and prying up the cast iron lid sent all manner of multi-legged critters skittering for darker refuge... and made me wish I had a short-handled crescent wrench, because attacking that stopcock from weird angles was darn challenging.

So, after whacking, cracking, and ultimately bringing a dremel to bear on the doomed spigot surround, it was grab-and-yank time, at which point, I did a passable impression of my father, by pulling, snapping, and swearing, followed by uttering something that probably made K a lot more nervous than she let on.  "Hon, could you bring me a Band-Aid?"  To her credit, she only asked me when my last tetanus shot was, rather than overtly look for red droplets on the kitchen linoleum (there were none), and at least acted reassured when I told her that the small gouge on the back of my finger, presently oozing internal fluids, was from a piece of recalcitrant (and calcified) plastic.  In my house, as a child, I'd seen this sort of thing play out with roofing materials, ill-behaved hand tools, and, on one memorable occasion, a kitchen knife and a particularly stubborn coconut.

After dispatching K to Home Depot (alternate universe/ghetto edition) to pick up the appropriate pipe fitting (due to excessive calcification from three decades' drippage), putting things back together was an absolute breeze, and, after a lunch break that featured salads and netgoth's gracious lending of a Muppet Show DVD, we assaulted the piles of boxes occupying the office and spare bedroom, and, as of this writing, the only heaps of shit to be de-boxed are K's assorted trinkets and a frighteningly large pile of boxes with the ominous inscription BOOKS - HEAVY writ on them in my hand.


Still not king.
Beard status: Grizzled
Yard status: Shaggy (but not Scooby)

Comments

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

For that main shutoff valve, get yourself to OSH or Home Depot or whathaveyou, and ask for something called a "T-wrench". It's a 2' long piece of steel with a great big crossbar on one end and a little inverted U on the other end, and it's designed to grab that funny little valve and turn it with ease, far from the creepy-crawlies. You'll want to have the width of the valve handle handy when you go - they say there's a standard size, and that worked for me, but there were a variety of sizes available.

There may actually be another main water shutoff on the house itself. We have one, but the handle is long since gone and its stem stripped beyond repair, which is why I use the valve at the meter.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

i was thinking exactly the same thing, but when we had the roto-rooter dude out two weeks ago, there didn't appear to be any such apparatus, unfortunately.

and, really, the shutoff turned easily enough that i could make due with a short-handled crescent wrench, it was just a matter of finessing the 8" one into the meter well where i could actually turn it slightly in the right direction. :-)

one room down. five more, and a hallway, to go.... and then the exterior. i still want to have most of it done by halloween....

[ladysoleil.livejournal.com]

aaaghgh! You have a pit in your yard, covered with a cast iron lid, that contains pipes and bugs?

Man, I am so buying that Orkin suit before I come to visit. ;)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

pit? it's a hole the size of a toaster where my water meter is....