onionscopes

Leo: (July 23—Aug. 22)
Getting there is said to be half the fun, but those people aren't going where you're going.

[ http://www.theonion.com/4003/horoscopes.html ]

*blink, blink*

The boss just apologized for being a dipshit yesterday. I explained that it's kind of important to know how much work needs to be done before promising clients a deadline, and added with a smile, "Well, I sure earned my bonus from their invoice."

Yeah, I'm subtle. Like a falling I-beam, I yam.

silly.

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS = Favorite Spice + Last Foreign Vacation Spot ::
Garlic Aruba. Hmmm.

SOCIALITE ALIAS = Silliest Childhood Nickname + Town Where You First Partied ::
Broccoli Buffalo. Oh, yeah, you know every debutante needs -that- on their invite list.

"FLY GIRL" ALIAS (a la J. Lo) = First Initial + First Two or Three Letters of Your Last Name ::
R. Bro. Why does this conjure images of Taxi-era Danny DeVito with a good tan?

ROCK STAR ALIAS = Any Liquid on the Bar + Last Name of Bad-Ass Celeb ::
Vodka Sutherland

DIVA ALIAS = Something Sweet Within Sight + Any Liquid in Kitchen
Tootsie Pop Formula 409?

GIRL DETECTIVE ALIAS = Favorite Baby Animal + Where You Last Went To School
I think it's best for everyone if the words "Tadpole Fredonia" are just not mentioned....

BARFLY ALIAS = Last Snack Food You Ate + Your Favorite Drink ::
Popcorn Jedi - yanno, that almost makes sense....

SOAP OPERA ALIAS = Middle Name + Street Where You First Lived ::
Not happening. Nope.

*shows boss Fortune Cookie*

"You will get a big raise this year."

I neglected to mention that it might be from another employer, but the un-subtle hint was made.