Edgar Allen Poo

Once upon a morning dreary, while I wandered, none too cheery,
To the lavatory that resides upon on my office floor,
While I unzipped (not for fapping!), suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently texting while crapping in the stall next door.
"Are you kidding?" I muttered, "Someone can't be such a boor –
Please don't smartphone while dropping spoor."