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... it's that I'm sick of saying the same not-nice things.
The venality, stupidity, hypocrisy, and all-around fuckmuppetry of the world at large seems to be exacerbated even more acutely of late. This is not a plea for there to be new kinds of evil and stupidity, but, you know, maybe a cessation in the incessant drumbeat of YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES that is apparently the new normal as far as my attitude towards pretty much the majority of public figures and their antics would be nice.
Seriously. Even I am tired of listening to the litany of rage at the usual shit that inhabits my head, so bothering to commit it to type is just an exercise in self-loathing, and it's blocked up the ability to or interest in jotting down much of anything else. I've tried my hand at a couple weekly flash fiction things to try and spark some kind of alternate outlet, but that feels fake and forced and ultimately unsatisfying. Even the paid writing outlets are, at the moment, looking like something that's more burdensome and expensive in terms of time and effort cost than the dollar amount that would be sent back in my direction for them (even taking into account the fact that I'm so minimally invested in most of the content desired that I have no interest in it even when I'm not feeling comprehensively burned out on the notion of generating content suitable for wider public consumption).
It's basically reached the point where paying attention to the world at large is like the old joke about hitting myself in the head with a hammer, because it feels so good when I stop.
Entirely too many friends, both tight and less close, are going through some horrible shit, and despite my honest sympathy, making offers of support practically feels too taxing (which, itself, makes me feel like a crappy friend, and not unjustifiably so).
I'm sorry, both for what you're going through, and because I'm failing at being a better friend while you're going through it.
I'm sure there are good things out there, but I'm not in a position to appreciate or comment upon them much at the moment, between being busy and cranky. Normal service (such as it is), will probably resume after the first of the year.
Because Fuck New Years'.
The venality, stupidity, hypocrisy, and all-around fuckmuppetry of the world at large seems to be exacerbated even more acutely of late. This is not a plea for there to be new kinds of evil and stupidity, but, you know, maybe a cessation in the incessant drumbeat of YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES that is apparently the new normal as far as my attitude towards pretty much the majority of public figures and their antics would be nice.
Seriously. Even I am tired of listening to the litany of rage at the usual shit that inhabits my head, so bothering to commit it to type is just an exercise in self-loathing, and it's blocked up the ability to or interest in jotting down much of anything else. I've tried my hand at a couple weekly flash fiction things to try and spark some kind of alternate outlet, but that feels fake and forced and ultimately unsatisfying. Even the paid writing outlets are, at the moment, looking like something that's more burdensome and expensive in terms of time and effort cost than the dollar amount that would be sent back in my direction for them (even taking into account the fact that I'm so minimally invested in most of the content desired that I have no interest in it even when I'm not feeling comprehensively burned out on the notion of generating content suitable for wider public consumption).
It's basically reached the point where paying attention to the world at large is like the old joke about hitting myself in the head with a hammer, because it feels so good when I stop.
Entirely too many friends, both tight and less close, are going through some horrible shit, and despite my honest sympathy, making offers of support practically feels too taxing (which, itself, makes me feel like a crappy friend, and not unjustifiably so).
I'm sorry, both for what you're going through, and because I'm failing at being a better friend while you're going through it.
I'm sure there are good things out there, but I'm not in a position to appreciate or comment upon them much at the moment, between being busy and cranky. Normal service (such as it is), will probably resume after the first of the year.
Because Fuck New Years'.
