My Ghod Can Beat Up Your Ghod

[digitaldiscipline]

Holy bleeding fuck, people.

Humility, Fasting, and Prayer, Oh My!

[not to be confused, one presumes, with Lions, Tigers, or Ursine Mammals (which may or may not defecate in federally-protected woodland areas)]

Jumping the gun is a fine and aerobic tradition, much like the faked orgasm. I've gotten pretty good at the former and am not at all adept at the latter. (*Fweet!* Ten yards, roughing the listener! Repeat second down." Sorry about that.)

But some seriously double-clutched gun jumping was in order as I perused this Salon niblet.

The process goes something like this:

* Rev up to napalm the idea of national prayer, citing idealized secularization of government, separation of church and state, and the whole "My Ghod can beat up your Ghod" flavor that casts on the war.
* Ease back when the cited Democrats express similar concerns.
* Resume annoyance and bafflement at the 7-to-1 ratio the resolution was passed by yesterday

The resolution, passed 346-49, says Americans should use the day of prayer "to seek guidance from God to achieve a greater understanding of our own failings and to learn how we can do better in our everyday activities, and to gain resolve in meeting the challenges that confront our nation."

First and foremost, I'm prone to stubborn refusal when anyone, especially the government, tells me I "should" do anything. When that particular something is an activity I find baffling at best and offensive at worst, well. . . I think we can all see how likely my participation is going to be. Ain't freedom grand?

I'm wondering, in my own particular fashion, which God Congress recommends praying to? I'd be far more likely to cast some warm, supplicating thoughts towards Bacchus or Aphrodite than the Judeo-Christian deity I suspect they've got in mind. What about Allah? He's a God, right?

I have my doubts that Cthulhu or Nyarlathotep are on the "approved" list. [Remember, kids - Cthulhu Saves! (He might be hungry later.)]

I mean, it's not like we have an RDA for devotion or anything. Are we talking a good, hard, fifteen minutes (an hour after eating - don't want to cramp up!)? Should we take a serene, all-afternoon introspective spiritual jaunt?

My more cynical side wants to take a practical view of things - isn't someone weakened by fasting, distracted by hunger, and penitent in supplication easier to do away with? Perhaps we should suggest our foes in Iraq engage in a national day of prayer, humility, and fasting . . . the better to eat them with.

Comments

[axissilverhand.livejournal.com]

"The House passed a resolution Thursday calling for a national day of humility, prayer and fasting in a time of war and terrorism."

Humility. Let's go humiliate some people in their God's name, shall we? Fasting? No. Fuck you. Double Cheese Whopper with extra-large everything for gorging, thank you. *Rubs temples a bit more, wondering when the veins will go back down*

[sabinenotagoth.livejournal.com]

i'm hypoglycemic; i'm sure as heck not fasting. i don't see how passing out at work would help anyone or anything.

and since when does "freedom of religion" mean the government telling people when to pray?

jeebus. this is crazy.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

here's an idea - people who are hungry and kneeling are easier to kill. why don't we suggest that our -enemies- undertake prayer and fasting?

ooooh, i like that idea. ..

[dasein-fiasco.livejournal.com]

Freedom Fries Out-Stupided By Congress!!!!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

"out-stupided"? *blink, blink*

my social commentary gland is stuck.

[ashengrace.livejournal.com]

Dumb and Dumberer - The story of Bush and Hussein.

I've had it about up to here with the both of 'em. tards, all around.

"Freedom Fries", indeed.

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

The voting margin is appalling. I feel sick. I can't believe I bothered to actually eat breakfast this morning.

I just finished the voodoo-oriented Ben January novel, Graveyard Dust (B. Hambly), so my brain fixed on the background info that the author provided, and my normal aversion to rum is suspended: Rum, cigars, pound cake. Make altar to loa, give offerings to appropriate entities, have orgiastic revels. It's religious, right?

[angel-renewed.livejournal.com]

"I know Ghod and you, Sir, are no Ghod"

F*ck this fasting bullshit. I'm Jewish. Do you KNOW how often we're supposed to fast? You're not likely to see any morbidly obese devout Jews, that's for sure. If I ain't fasting for MY g_d, I ain't fasting for Shrub's.

This is a bunch of bullsh_t. G-d didn't tell us to go whomp on Saddam (herein referred to as 'our tent razing expedition in the desert'). G_d has bigger things to worry about than whether our knuckle-headed, jacked-up, dimwit President (who stole the election) wants to take out a narcissitic Machievelli wannabe and turn Iraq into a giant BP station. G_d, you see, realizes that Wrestlemania is coming up. Much bigger things to worry about, indeed.

[theonebob.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, most companies probably won't give us that day off, anyway. But if they do, I personally will spend the day shopping.

I wonder how Madison Ave will handle the Humiliation, Fasting and Prayer Day Sales.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

it would stimulate the economy, by providing work for EMT's?

[etcet.livejournal.com]

"Fall on your knees and skip the crossant to fit into this once-in-a-wartime fashon event!"