Bored Stiff

[digitaldiscipline]

Not actually bored at work. To the contrary, I'm busy as fuck (covering for people who are out, fighting various fires, and passing along all manner of exciting news).

No, the title is a riff on that of a book I've been poking at, Scared Stiff, (Ramsey Cambell).

I think that this collection of Mr. Campbell's "erotic horror" stories is going to join a short and non-illustrious list - that of books I will *never* finish, once I've started reading them.

That list, in more or less the order I started reading them:
The Silmarillion, J.R.R. Tolkien
Underworld, Don DeLillo
Shardik, Richard Adams
Blade Runner 2, K.W. Jeter[1]
Scared Stiff, Ramsey Campbell

What do all these books have in common? They bored my tits off.

Dishonorable mentions go to Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver, Jonathan Littell's Bad Voltage, William Gibson/Bruce Sterling's The Difference Engine, and K.W. Jeter's Noir[2] for being books I wish I'd never read, but finished anyways.

Clearly, cyberpunk doesn't have a lot of middle ground; it's either awesome, or awful.

[1] - Worst book I've ever tried to read
[2] - Worst book I've ever read in its entirety

Comments

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[maelstromsl.livejournal.com]

I put off reading The Difference Engine for a long time, then finally did out of a sense of obligation... man that was one big disappointment. And the weird use of antique vernacular (dollymop?) in there just about made you want to puke.

[the-yellow-king.livejournal.com]

How highly interesting. I've never read Shardik.
Whyfor did The Silmarillion bore you?
BTW, email me your address. A Christmas present popped in my lap that I think should belong to you.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about the fact that I, too, found The Silmarillion incredibly dull and never finished it, either when I read Clearly, cyberpunk doesn't have a lot of middle ground; it's either awesome, or awful. Did a *serious* double take. :-) I've never enjoyed cyberpunk. I find it incredibly tedious. I've always chalked it up to working with computers day in and day out for all these years. I think it's partly my inability to suspend my disbelief long enough to take in the concept of a computer system of any kind that's stable enough to go crazy (or take over) without ending up as smoking pile of digital slag. ;-) Invariably, or so it seems from the little bit I've tried to read over the years, there's some vast seamless interconnected system doing things and controlling things and messing with our heads. Frankly, it lost me at the seamlessly interconnected system. :-):-) Like *that's* gonna happen!

Re: ....

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I feel like I ought to enjoy steampunk, but, for the most part, it strikes me as annoyingly wankerrific.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Silmarillion had two problems - one, it was the first Toklien I ever picked up. Two, I was twelve.

I don't want to read fourteen thousand years of elvish history, kthxbi.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I don't necessarily see c-punk as requiring a rogue AI, though that's certainly one of the genre's tropes (it could probably be argued both ways that Heinlein's Moon is a Harsh Mistress is an excellent example of the genre's genesis). I generally hold the stance that "is it gritty? does life suck for a lot of people? is there cool tech? if yes to all, it's c-punk."

the tech doesn't need to be central, but it ought to be impossible to remove it without killing the story - gibson does this better than anyone ("winter market," for example).

[marchenland.livejournal.com]

Huh. TDE is one of my top 5 books; I've read it again and again and always loved it. *shrug* Different people, diffeent tastes.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I happened to find Shardik as a result of enjoying his cameo in King's Gunslinger series. Since I enjoyed Watership Down so much, I gave it a try. I gnawed on that book for -years-. I think I'm halfway, two-thirds of the way through. Damningly, I don't give a damn how it ends.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Probably the luck of the draw that those are the ones I've tumbled on. The gritty is probably the other turn off for me. Life's already gritty and sucky enough. ;-) I don't necessarily want to wallow in it in my fiction (which is what it feels like to me, YMMV, of course). That said, gritty in fantasy (to a point) works better for me. Probably because it's farther removed from the here and now.

[felisdemens.livejournal.com]

I must agree on Scared Stiff. I've always felt like to should enjoy Ramsey Campbell... but I generally don't.

Also, the majority of the stories were about as erotic as cleaning the garbage disposal.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

*nod* A fan of Brust's Jhereg stuff, then?

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I fail at steampunk.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

I guess this is where I confess to having never read Brust. My hands keep straying to them in the bookstore, but I've never taken the plunge. In recent years, too, my reading has plummeted since my reading time is also my writing time. *sigh* Back when I was more likely to take a lunch hour, I'd often get 500-1000 words written at lunch. I probably should start taking a lunch more often and using that time to *read*.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I AM PORTENTIOUS BUT OBVIOUS AND OH BY THE WAY THERE ARE GENITALIA INVOLVED.

It all smacked of that sort of hinted-at luridity that was a hallmark of the late 70's/early 80's genre horror that King was accused of churning out, but without any of the actual, you know, horror or eroticism. You know that scene in "The Meaning Of Life" where John Cleese fucks his wife in sex ed class? That's what Scared Stiff feels like - watching John Cleese's skinny white ass give a dissertation on not rampaging straight for the clitoris.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

HEH! :-) Sounds it might be fun to read aloud, in company and with sufficient spirits. Could be quite entertaining like that. :-) Funny accents would likely be of use, as well.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I heartily recommend it as a "swords and sorcery meets the mafia" flavor of stuff, but the worldbuilding is teriffic, the characters entertaining, and the plots themselves are fun.

I read at lunch, because it's an escape from the workday. At least on those days when I can't manage a nap.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

That sounds interesting. I'll have to keep it in mind for my next excursion to the bookstore when I have money. Or I'll put it on my birthday list for my kid to get for me. At the moment I have a couple of Pratchets and a Jane Austen I'm working on. Decided I should probably finally read Pride and Prejudice just to get my friends off my back and damnitall, I got sucked in by the writing. I guess there *is* a reason it's been in print since the early 1800s. :-) And, okay, the thread in jaylake's LJ about reading out of genre gave me the final nudge.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

My mom got the bulk of the Jhereg books for Christmas this year; she'd been nibbling on their pre-history (a send-up of Dumas' style) and wanted to see what the "contemporary" storyline was about.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I would advise against it, unless said libations contain a lot of caffeine as well as substantial amounts of liquor.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Oh, I *love* Dumas! I plowed through a bunch of his in high school. Or was it just after. umm... I'm officially older than I used to be and can't remember. :-)

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Liquor would be a given. Enough liquor, funny accents and the right friends could make the phone book funny as hell. :-)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

You have a point there.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

You are now clean out of excuses not to read Brust's Dragaera stories, then. :-)

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Fie! A pox upon you, minion of the evil one! :-):-)

[dogsbody01.livejournal.com]

Look, my philosophy is if the book bores you,don't waste time or brain cells trying to plod through it.Just chuck it.Something that I wished I had done, when I actually bothered to read "Cousin Bette".But thankfully did, when after the first thirty pages of "The Three Musketeers",I realized that not only had the movie version; with Chris O'Donnell and Kiefer Sutherland had been easier for me to understand.But was actually more enjoyable than the book it was based upon.

Re: ....

[ivy]

I liked "The Diamond Age", but yeah, most of the genre just fails to move me. And I hate William Gibson. (Cyberpunks everywhere gasp!)

[ivy]

Once you get through the first 150 pages it's not so bad... but I had to *make* myself do it. And I was 25 or so. [grin]

[etcet.livejournal.com]

There's one further problem - I don't give a damn about Tolkien's worldbuilding.