Mawwiage

[digitaldiscipline]

Yeah, I've seen that thing going around[1]. aishlynn and I, despite having been together for longer than most couples we know (and we've outlasted her own previous marriage twice over, and then some), ain't married. We might never be.

That said, I unreservedly support the sentiment it expresses. Hell, if I were the grand gesture sort, I'd say something like, "Maybe we won't get married until it's legal in every state, because it'll mean more when that's true."

But I ain't. Instead, because I'll be conducting a wedding in a week and some change, here are my [edited, truncated, and redacted] notes.


• Mawwiage is what bwings us togevah today….
• Welcome Family & Friends, witness and honor [him] and [her], yadda yadda yadda
• Relationship summary – Let me tell you… no, there is too much. Let me sum up.
• And now, a reading from the books of Matthew, Mark, Luke… and duck.
o “QUACK.”
o Here ends the reading.
• Is there anyone here who has any reason why these two should not be wed? If so, not only are you too damn late, you gotta go through all of us first. Good luck with that.
• Have you the wing? No? How about you?

• TOO MUCH METAL FOR ONE HAND \mmm/

• By the power vested in me by you, and you, and all of you, I now pronounce you HUSBAND AND WIFE.

• RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!







[1] Copy this sentence into your LiveJournal if you're in a heterosexual marriage, and you don't want it "protected" by the bigots who think that gay marriage hurts it somehow.

Comments

[onceupon.livejournal.com]

• TOO MUCH METAL FOR ONE HAND \mmm/

That absolutely needs to be a part of more marriage ceremonies.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Every one I conduct, it will be.

[auroara.livejournal.com]

I suppose the good thing about me getting remarried, if it ever occurs, is that it will be very easy to outlast the last one since he dumped me like a hot rock before the end of one year. Seriously. Who fails at marriage after 9 months? Oh yeah. Me.

[ladysoleil.livejournal.com]

*snort*

This ceremony is going to be epic. :)

[xany.livejournal.com]

yes.

yes it is.





...and so's the marriage. :-D

[inulro.livejournal.com]

Oh, I knew I'd failed at marriage before 9 months. It took me a while longer to make the public admission that I'd made a Very Big Mistake and get my sorry ass out of that situation though.

[trid.livejournal.com]

*THAT* is what we forgot in ours...

[y2kdragon.livejournal.com]

"Alright, the short-short version..."

[y2kdragon.livejournal.com]

(and yes, I've done that)

[smaugchow.livejournal.com]

You should marry the girl for this one fact: Common Law marriage is SO redneck.

[mighty-man.livejournal.com]

Wuv....twue wuv...

*sigh*

[geeki.livejournal.com]

ROFL.

Uhm this :)

[geeki.livejournal.com]

Well you know I feel like it's a bit of paper....

Besides...as it was said during my wedding ceremony.

"remember one of these people has been married before, so this marriage only has a 25% chance of surviving..."

Yes. I have it on tape.