digitaldiscipline: (batman)
Today's Sinfest pisses me off, and, more to the point, the reverberating echoes of laudatory comments of it piss me off, too.

"Why?" you might wonder (or you might not; that's fine, but, really, you're in for a boring life if you don't ask that question occasionally).

Do I harbor some kind of deep-seated distaste for women, or their right to express their desires?

No.

Do I think that men shouldn't respect women's boundaries?

No again.

Do I think that the color should be spelled with an "a" and not an "e"?

A third time, no.

Rather, my ire is drawn, two-fold, by both what is stated directly and explicitly in the strip itself, and what it implies by unspoken expression.

There are zero shades of grey here. "No" means "no," and that is black and white.[1] A binary expression is either stop or go, on or off, yes or no. There is no grey. None.

And that's all right; this is a perfectly legitimate, and, frankly, desirable state of affairs in many cases.

But... and this is where the meta steps in and pisses me off...

Leaving this story as "No. The end," strips feminists of agency. It buckets the reader into the author's (both Ishida and Feminist Girl) prescriptive and inflexible definition of what a feminist fantasizes about.

And that, dear reader, is bullshit.

"Feminist" is not a being; it is a descriptor. Using it as a noun instead of an adjective dehumanizes people who identify as feminists. It makes them less than human, incapable of nuance in precisely the same way that yes/no is.

It's reductive to the point of being destructive. And too many people are missing that point in the stampede to laud feminism, even when it's done shoddily.

Yes, laud feminism. Please, for the love of fuck, laud feminism. But also call out those who are against it, actively or passively. And, moreover, call out those who are doing it poorly. Theoretically, we learn from our mistakes; the artist has made one here.

More subtly, and probably invisibly to the author, is the fact that the "he" in the story only respects "her wish," not her. Maybe I'm being too intensely critical and driving needles into minutae here, but this is the way privilege works, and the way it needs to be fought and driven back - everywhere, all the time, no matter how big or small. Call that shit out, bring attention to all the fractal fuckery, because if the language and inflection doesn't treat the problem, and only addresses the symptoms, it's not going to get better, it's just going to get subtler.

To make a gross (in both senses of the word) analogy: if you smack a cockroach with a roll of duct tape, it will make a very impressive splatter[2]. Yes, you've killed the cockroach, but there's now a whole bunch of additional mess to clean up... and, while that mess isn't actively spreading, if you don't get it all, it will draw other unsavory things that might not otherwise have shown up.

I could probably go off on another couple paragraphs' worth of diatribe on the header's byline; it's possible that Ishida is using it to empower Feminist Girl's character (that is, the one in the story being written in the strip); but it's just as possible that it's damning Feminist Girl herself to a cage of her own making.

Feminism is nuanced around the edges, because, much like Soylent Green, it's people. It's not a white circle on a black background. Look at the edges of a spotlight shining on a deeply shadowed thing sometime; there are actual shades of grey.

So, please stop giving Tatsuya Ishida (and everyone else [see also: previous rant vis a vis a certain Joseph Whedon]) feminist cookies when he fucks up like this. He won't learn. People who read his strip won't learn. Encourage him to get better, because right now, he has all the nuance and delicacy of someone doing a paint-by-numbers with a bucket duct-taped to his ass.

Even if the paint happens to be grey.


[1] Of course, the D/s folks have a lovely spin on this: "'No' means 'yes'. '$Safeword' means 'no'." (Yes, kinky people, I'm aware that you might have multiple safwords, for things like "slow down" or "stop" or "JESUS CHRIST IT'S A HARD LIMIT GET OUT OF THE CAR.")

[2] I speak from experience. You would not believe how juicy those fucking things are if you catch them on a hard surface with a firm object with a fair bit of force.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 16:44 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] pixirae.livejournal.com
"JESUS CHRIST IT'S A HARD LIMIT GET OUT OF THE CAR."

Oh, Rafe, I love and miss you. Because really, spewing cottage cheese all over my keyboard because I'm laughing too hard is an event that needs to happen more often.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 16:51 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] clevermanka.livejournal.com
Yeah, that's the line that got me, too.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 16:53 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
serves you right for eating cottage cheese. ;-)


(i don't care how healthy it is; that stuff, avocadoes, and greek yogurt are on my DO NOT WANT, EVER list)
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 16:54 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
You should probably just assume I come with a coffee & cats warning.[1]




[1] actually, that's not true, I usually come with a gasp, grunt, or growl (I'm not usually paying attention at the time)
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 16:59 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] mimerki.livejournal.com
More for me!
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 17:08 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
you are quite welcome to 'em. i'm doing a liquid fast today anyway, at least until after my workout.

stupid carb cravings. ONE packet of goddamned veggie garden wheat thins made me feel like a frigging whale (tasty carb and sodium bloat, plus whatever other stuff is in 'em), but the mouth was SO HAPPY to eat them.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 17:24 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] yelena-r0ssini.livejournal.com
The fuck, man, you don't like avocadoes? But whyyyyyyyy?
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 17:32 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] yelena-r0ssini.livejournal.com
I think my flinching is similar to yours. I do see the same reductive-ness of "feminist fantasy" that you do and find it similarly objectionable. I ALSO really dislike the idea that the optimal guy in Ishida's Feminist land is still a pursuer, just a pursuer who takes no for an answer. "No means no" is great and important and not a lesson I want to see fall by the wayside, but it bothers me that issues of informed and enthusiastic consent and mutuality, and the idea that women might have just as strong a sex drive and want just as much to take an active/pursuing role, seems to get buried under this same old gender stereotyping where the man asks and the woman says yes or no.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 17:52 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] mschaos.livejournal.com
I was gonna say. avocados are natures butter!
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 18:07 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
can't stand 'em. the taste, the texture, everything.

tomatoes are the same way, except turned into salsa. but even guacamole is irredeemable spackle to my palate.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 18:08 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] normalcyispasse.livejournal.com
Ishida's feminist bent as of late has been absurd and reductivist, and it's incredibly irritating. I understand he's turned over a new page in life or some such bullshit, but his understanding of essentialized feminism relies on hoary old tropes and dramatic misinterpretation and misandry.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 18:09 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
LJ lacks a Like or THIS or + functionality, which would be employed vigorously to your remark here.

Instead, here is a vaguely boob-looking cropped photograph of a giant bronze eyeball.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 18:24 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
Thank you for the marvelous TL;DR distillation of my broadside. :-D
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 18:28 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] felisdemens.livejournal.com
Thank you. I was all poised to say precisely this, and now I can save my tender typing pinkies for excoriating something else.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 18:37 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] ivy
ivy: (grey hand-drawn crow)
I'm with you. Who wants to eat a pile of butter in the quantity that avocado is on everything? Ew ew ew.

(Salsa is good though.)
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 19:13 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] starrai.livejournal.com
I might also add that this strip just played into the whole idea that somehow to be feminist means you hate sex and it's gross and demeaning. Feminist =! prude/frigid/spinster/etc.

So, eff this strip.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 19:25 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
For all the male gaze-y stuff he does with the succubi, he's seriously emasculating towards just about all the recurring male characters - they're either desperate and unlaid (slick, the pigbro whose name i can never remember), sexless (jesus, the bible-thumper, the zombie, li'l e), or flatly predatory (the devil, the guys who hit on 'nique)
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 19:26 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
(omitted from that is criminy, who is a Genuinely Nice Guy, but who is also de-sexed, despite interest in him by Blue)
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 19:31 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] cassandrasimplx.livejournal.com
Like/+1/THIS/Gir-still-has-a-hug-left-in-him.

My poorly-verbalized reaction was "Well, that'd be a nice first step, sure, but... What if she wants to say something besides 'no'?"

There's a troubling pattern in which women are cast in the role of moral guardians who set limits for the poor men who can't set boundaries for themselves (because OMG testosterone and rape modules!), in which women don't seek to do or pursue or acquire things, just struggle to preserve their own purity, in which women have fears and responsibilities but no desires or agency, and a "feminist" fantasy that begins and ends with "Men should respect the boundaries set by women" does nothing to question that pattern.

It's like saying "You should never drive above the speed limit if there's a police car visible." It doesn't tell you how to be a safer driver, or respect the right-of-way of other cars; it just tells you there are people whose job it is to punish you for breaking this one particular law, so you should avoid breaking that particular law where they can see you. It's very practical advice, but its assumptions and omissions outweigh its practical value once it's framed as "What all police officers really want" rather than "Times it is really stupid to speed no matter how big a hurry you're in."

The analogy might seem a little harsh, but I find it very accurate. The assumptions and implications here are:
* Women have a right to say no. (Yeah, with you so far.)
* People -- no, sorry, men, since "he" is specified -- should respect the wishes of a woman who says no. (Amen and preaching to the choir.)
* Feminists just want men to respect the wishes of a woman who has said no. (Well, but that's not all of it, just a first step out of a very nasty aspect of our current culture...)
* Once men accept that women can, will, and should set boundaries around men's advances (sexual? romantic? financial? Nothing is specified, only implied) and men must observe those boundaries, the feminist dream will be achieved and we can all be happy. (No, wait, what? No equal pay? No representation in federal policy decisions that affect women first and foremost? No relief from being bombarded with media insistence that women are cock-receptacles whose primary job is to spend lots of time and money to look extra-fuckable while setting those boundaries with the sole aim of preserving their virtue for a future husband? No end to slut-shaming for women who make the first move? No comment on the go-to insult to men being comparing them to women?)

And thus, by omission:
* Women have only a limited right to say "yes" or "please" or "How about you and your cute friend?" because that's the current default that goes utterly unchallenged here.
* Women have an obligation to say "no" (in the absence of a supported right to say anything else) and men have a right/obligation to go ahead and ask, because you never know what she might say! (Except that there are still social penalties for anything but "no".)
* If men would just stop raping women, all the rest of this stuff about not being paid as much as men and men usurping the right to tell us what's best for our bodies and consciences and talking over us in conversations and defining us in everything from casual conversations to big-budget entertainment by our relationship to the nearest man would simply dry up and blow away because all this inequality women perceive is just a reaction to our understandable 24/7 fear of being raped.

That last point is particularly pernicious, because many women do live with that fear, and arrange their lives around it to some degree. Nobody wants to be the person who says, "Nah, rape is totally okay, and teaching men to hear and respect a woman's 'no' is pointless." But that will be the convenient straw man to defeat anyone saying "this is not enough".

"Hey, we got men to stop raping women. What more could you hysterical harpies possibly want? Sandwich and/or blow job now!"
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 19:31 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] starrai.livejournal.com
Well, I meant eff this specific strip today. The rest of it, I'm not familiar with, so I wouldn't judge it on this alone. But I admit, I'm less interested in reading it if that's what he thinks feminists want.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 20:07 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] the_axel
the_axel: (Default)
I was going to disagree with a bunch of your points, but I've never read the comic before and I doubt I will again and it would seem that context is important.

So, I'll just say that the message I got from the strip (in part because of the greyness of it) is that it's really fucking depressing that we still haven't got to the point where a woman can say 'no' and know that a man will listen to her.

No Means No formed 32 fucking years ago. We should be so far past this shit.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 20:34 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
Yup. We should.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 20:41 (UTC)Posted by: [personal profile] ivy
ivy: (grey hand-drawn crow)
It is kinda second wave at times. I have to admit that I like feminist motorcycle girl sometimes, but I would kind of like to see him write something that isn't about feminism now. And it's irritating when someone is being really heavy-handed about feminism while having less direct experience of it, so there's that. Obviously I think that men have a place in feminism as well as women, but when there's this kind of OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST DISCOVERED THAT SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE UNFAIR TO WOMEN, WHOA presented as shocking revelation... um, dude. We knew that. Here's the Cliff Notes. I don't want to denigrate his personal journey, and I appreciate that he cares, but I do think that he's going about it in a manner more enthusiastic than it is helpful. Hopefully eventually he'll read some more and gain some further perspective.

Regarding your original post, [livejournal.com profile] etcet, I take being willing to be the person doing the asking out/making the expressions of interest as a feminist act. Assuming that one is interested in dating dudes, it's helpfully undermining the creepy gender roles to be the asker rather than the askee. It sends the message that they don't have to always be the pursuer, that it is more the negotiation between equals that we'd like it to be. I wish more women would do this. Of the fellows that I'm currently kissing, not a one of them asked me. Rather, they showed themselves to be attractive interesting people and then I approached them. (I am amused that that's not so with my female partners -- [livejournal.com profile] katestine totally kissed me first.)
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 20:55 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] jola.livejournal.com
Did you say no tomatoes?? Well now we can't be friends anymore.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 21:53 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] jola.livejournal.com
I know your post is about feminism and shit but can i interject? I really hate the Shades of Grey book because of the concept. It is, apparently about the FEELINGS of a boring submissive type. this is somehow edgy ...

::clutching pearls::

pfffffffffft.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 22:12 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
I only like tomatoes in salsa or in those forms found in jars to be spread over pizza crust or pasta.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 22:20 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
Re: first paragraph - pretty much all of that, minus the enjoyment of her character. she's a flat, un-nuanced character to the point that she undermines what I think Ishida's trying to accomplish when she shows up. she is *such* a caricature of the Angry Feminist that she's going to polarize readers; folks who don't grok (or are anti-)feminism are going to be turned off, and folks who are trying to be good (or better) feminists are going to go "OH JOHN RAMBO NO." She is, fundamentally, not a character, she's a set piece. The only other character who is given so little nuance or opportunity to be humanized through humor is Jesus, and even he shows up wearing a jet pack and kung fu fighting every once in a while.

Ishida is, it seems, *afraid* of feminism, because it's this big new scary thing, and he's trying to eat the elephant while still going HOLY SHIT GUYS IT'S AN ENDANGERED SPECIES AND I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS. So he treats it with kid gloves, albeit kid's *boxing* gloves, and wields it like that kid in Sword In The Stone when he first pulled Excalibur out, and it was way too big, heavy, and unwieldy for him to handle, despite it being a force for good.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 22:24 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
The only redeeming thing about 50SoG I've yet seen are "John Reads" and Gilbert Gottfried's oral recountings of some portions of the text. I caught a few pages over the shoulder of a fellow traveler when I went to Houston last month, and... your characterization of it is not inaccurate. It's tepid, boring, and, for anyone who has ever done anything remotely kinky, about as exciting as a trip to the gas station.

It began life as Twilight fan fiction, and, as best as I can tell, didn't really raise any bars.
Date/Time: 2012-06-21 22:48 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] eveofdstruction.livejournal.com
I read it the same way.
Date/Time: 2012-06-22 07:55 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] jade-kadir.livejournal.com
I've actually just finished reading the books and have been thinking actually about a different aspect of it and once I get it formed in my head, I want to post about it, but as far as the strip goes, aside from all the things that people have said in comments here, it's just a really boring strip. Yawn! Even the way it's drawn and formatted is dull.
Date/Time: 2012-06-22 13:25 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
Yup. We should.
Date/Time: 2012-06-23 18:52 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
I look forward to seeing your thoughts/criticism/reaction/etc.
Date/Time: 2012-06-24 07:40 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] jade-kadir.livejournal.com
I finally got something jotted down over here (http://jade-kadir.livejournal.com/1108135.html) if you would like to read it.
Date/Time: 2012-06-24 13:25 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] diablaxmachina.livejournal.com
Do you mind if I copy-n-paste quote you to a friend of mine who just posted that strip on her facebook? She is an early-stage feminist, and I'd like to expose her to another level of cultural critique.
Date/Time: 2012-06-25 00:55 (UTC)Posted by: [identity profile] etcet.livejournal.com
go right ahead, feel free

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