Dicks

[digitaldiscipline]

For those folks who have mercifully been under a large, comfortable rock, the verdict for the Steubenville rape case was delivered over the weekend, and it was "guilty."

There has been a lot of justified anger over the reportage concerning this, because, with the notable exception of NPR, most major media outlets, and especially CNN, were focusing on the "tragedy" (scare quotes most assuredly intentional) over the consequences for this conviction on the perpetrators.

If you don't understand how or why that is a problem, you are part of the problem.

But, because I provide a blunt force public service, here's how to change that:

Non-consensual behavior is wrong. Don't do it.
If you do it anyways, you deserve to live with the consequences.
Because you're an asshole.
Even if you're a straight male athlete in a town where you're considered a minor deity because you do exciting things with a ball, or wear a badge, or anything else people think makes you special.
It doesn't.

And if you're one of the people so vigorously and viciously defending the perpetrators, because you don't think what they did was wrong, you're part of the problem, because you're saying that the victim is less human, less deserving of being able to live without threat of unwanted action forced upon them by others, than those people who decided to do so. If you're angry at people for reporting the crime or convicting the perpetrators, you're a moral degenerate.

Blaming the victim is never the correct response.

Making the jaywalking argument -- that is to say, "wearing dark clothes and crossing against the light is risky behavior, so that person deserved to get hit by a car" -- actively undermines your point, and reinforces mine, because what you're saying is, "Simply being around people like that is dangerous."

And let's be clear, the "people like that" were a group of the young woman's peers, her so-called friends, all of whom were people who not only didn't lift a finger to help her, or tell her assailants not to do it, but took pictures and video and posted to Twitter while it happened, instead. Let that sink in for a minute: if this had been almost anything but a sexual assault, these people would be considered accessories to the crime. But that's how toxic our culture is right now, that what is arguably one of the worst things a person can do to someone else is treated more trivially than mere theft.

Welcome to rape culture and the prevailing environment of male privilege. It pretty much sucks for everyone, and the people most stridently defending it are the ones the rest of us need to make it suck for the most, because they are the most concentrated form of the problem -- men's rights activists, rape culture apologists, and misogynists and bigots of every stripe.

That's why I am going to complain loud an long about inequality, whether it's based on gender, sexual orientation, sexual identity, or what the fuck ever. If you're othering someone based on something they have no control over, you suck.

Don't be a dick.

Comments

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

When I was in University I occasionally drank too much and passed out or got sick in public. My friends cleaned me up, put me to bed, and mocked my hangover mercilessly the next day. I did the same for them.

BECAUSE NONE OF US WERE FUCKING RAPISTS.

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Man, I was on a tear about this yesterday. I've had a good night's sleep to calm down about it now, but I swear to you, if anyone had said to me yesterday that they didn't believe rape culture was really A Thing I would've fucking torn them apart and told them never to speak to me again. Today I found out that an acquaintance of mine was one of the people on the same side as the troglodytes espousing sympathy for the rapists and I was able to simply make a mental note to quietly and thoroughly cut him out of my life.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

"OMG THOSE POOR BOYS!" are words no one should have said. ever.

i chased a couple "anonymous" videos down that were quite scathing. the fact that ONLY two people were found guilty is something, given the apparent implication by the other people, at multiple parties, and the alleged party-favor treatment of the victim.

the "our sons are on a team and are gods" thing... jocks are SO important they get a free pass? doesn't help that a lot of the town's "important people" were involved with the team, had kids on the team, and basically everyone knew everyone and they decided this wasn't an issue. that right there is conspiracy, eh?

that the coach of the team complained about "anonymous" rape^H^H^H^Hhacking their website. oh my! the indignity! the terror. not.

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[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

oh, timely:

http://www.pri.org/stories/politics-society/social-justice/grand-jury-will-convene-over-more-charges-in-ohio-rape-case-13266.html

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apparently the coach was quoted as saying "destroy all the evidence" when he heard about it initially. gosh, now why would they do that?

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[etcet.livejournal.com]

Precisely.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

It is very liberating to excise someone who self-identifies as being horrible.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

... because the performance of the football team is more important than the health and safety of others. and, you know, law-abiding behavior.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

well, the safety of the team is important too!

i would imagine a lecture on prevention of stds and use of condoms for next time.

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[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Plus two girls have been arrested for harassing the victim (with the tone of the alleged harassment happening post-trial) already. This is Not Over by a long shot.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

now, something else begs the question...

you take a picture of something. you decide, on your own merits that perhaps you didn't like it. wasn't good enough. you delete it.

BUT somehow there's evidence that you DID take the picture (perhaps a witness). later, perhaps MONTHS or YEARS down the road, the police demand your picture. no picture. they charge you with tampering with evidence.

mmm. can apply to so many choices.

when does it become evidence? :P

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[thebigpants.livejournal.com]

This is one of many times that I'm glad to not be on FB. I couldn't handle seeing anyone support these people.

[cassandrasimplx.livejournal.com]

When you admit in court that you knew the act you took a picture of "was wrong" and might get people in trouble and cite that as your reason for deleting the photo/video.

[perspicuity.livejournal.com]

you never say that :D

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[lizkayl.livejournal.com]

Steubenville is what happens when society tells young people that you're supposed to get girls drunk so you can fool around with them. That if a female gets drunk, she should expect to get sexually used. That's what "they"re there for. Like an object, a blow up doll. Drunk, passed out chicks are what you want. They won't say no to anything, so you can do whatever you want. They won't remember ....at least not enough to complain/protest. No one believes drunk chicks. And she was asking for it, anyway! If you didn't have to hold her down, didn't threaten her with violence, it's not rape. It's just messing around with that drunk toy you found.

Not to mention that good girls don't drink, girls girls don't want sex. So, they end up drinking until they feel they're no longer good girls and can say "yes", because that way no one can blame them, cause they were drunk. Unless something goes wrong, then it's her fault she was there and drunk.

How about teaching kids enthusiastic consent?! Yes means yes. No slut shame, no playa pride. Just decide if you want to touch each other and tell each other.

[diablaxmachina.livejournal.com]

Pshhhh, you're just saying that to score with feminists. ^o~

THANK YOU for being outspoken about this. More men need to make it clear to their peers that this sort of behavior or enabling is NOT OK.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

The reason this is particularly funny is b/c CS was telling me in IM chat yesterday afternoon that if we had met, like, last weekend on OKC and she'd just seen my LJ for the first time, stuff like this would totally get me laid. *laughs*

That's not why I do it, of course, but it certainly isn't a disincentive. ;-)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Also... what is that emote?

A sperm wearing a party hat?
A winky blowjob face?

[diablaxmachina.livejournal.com]

I think it's a winking cat. It's quite popular here in Korea...