2004-02-23 11:23![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
digitaldiscipline
digitaldisciplineDear Unlicensed Breeders:
I was raised in a household where children were given freedom to have fun with the understanding that the parents were to be told when, where, and with whom, and if that was deviated from, a call home was de rigeur.
You did what your parents told you, Or Else. Why? Because They Said So. Failure to comply earned you an all-expenses-paid trip to your room. Grounding was a valid punishment. Allowances were given or earned or withheld. If you did something wrong, you were punished - and this included getting your ass tanned with a hand or a wooden spoon or a rolled up newspaper if you really fucked up.
You respected your parents. You called your friends' parents "Mr." and "Mrs." even when they said you could use their first name. You said "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" and "I'm sorry" and fucking well meant them.
You didn't throw firecrackers at people's heads. You didn't try and zap strangers in the eye with a laser pointer - if your parents caught you doing this, they'd scold you at the very least and make you apologize. . . or spank you right in public, then make you apologize.
So don't look at me like I'm reciting Klingon opera when, the third time I catch your gurbby little urchin doing both of these things and proclaim loudly, "Look, you little fuck, knock that shit off right now," because, I'm gonna snap your little pissant's arms off, shove him up your ass, and then beat your husband into remoulade, because you're incapable of doing your job as a fucking parent.
If you and your ill-mannered spawn bother me again, hear me when I say I have no patience for you and your l'aissez faire "parenting" - the instant one of your little shitspawn breaches the personal boundaries of me or those I deem worth standing up for, I -will- forcibly intrude and impose some fucking responsiblity on you.
I've said it before and I say it again now - we require people to get a license to cut hair, but any yahoo with working genitalia can become a parent.
I'm not going to raise your fucking kids, but I will instill in them the idea that someone else might disapprove of their asocial caperings, even if you're incapable. So when you need Junior to help you pick up your teeth, remember. . . you may not be the only one teaching them the way the world works.
I was raised in a household where children were given freedom to have fun with the understanding that the parents were to be told when, where, and with whom, and if that was deviated from, a call home was de rigeur.
You did what your parents told you, Or Else. Why? Because They Said So. Failure to comply earned you an all-expenses-paid trip to your room. Grounding was a valid punishment. Allowances were given or earned or withheld. If you did something wrong, you were punished - and this included getting your ass tanned with a hand or a wooden spoon or a rolled up newspaper if you really fucked up.
You respected your parents. You called your friends' parents "Mr." and "Mrs." even when they said you could use their first name. You said "please" and "thank you" and "excuse me" and "I'm sorry" and fucking well meant them.
You didn't throw firecrackers at people's heads. You didn't try and zap strangers in the eye with a laser pointer - if your parents caught you doing this, they'd scold you at the very least and make you apologize. . . or spank you right in public, then make you apologize.
So don't look at me like I'm reciting Klingon opera when, the third time I catch your gurbby little urchin doing both of these things and proclaim loudly, "Look, you little fuck, knock that shit off right now," because, I'm gonna snap your little pissant's arms off, shove him up your ass, and then beat your husband into remoulade, because you're incapable of doing your job as a fucking parent.
If you and your ill-mannered spawn bother me again, hear me when I say I have no patience for you and your l'aissez faire "parenting" - the instant one of your little shitspawn breaches the personal boundaries of me or those I deem worth standing up for, I -will- forcibly intrude and impose some fucking responsiblity on you.
I've said it before and I say it again now - we require people to get a license to cut hair, but any yahoo with working genitalia can become a parent.
I'm not going to raise your fucking kids, but I will instill in them the idea that someone else might disapprove of their asocial caperings, even if you're incapable. So when you need Junior to help you pick up your teeth, remember. . . you may not be the only one teaching them the way the world works.
◾ Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
So what spawned this?
Re:
i stood up and let them know, very audibly, that their behavior was not acceptable. wonder of wonders, the little fuckers knocked it off, even if frosted-hair momma looked at me with such complete bovine stupidity that i was going to suggest she use that expression as contraception so that she and her fat-cat husband wouldn't pop out any further wastes of my oxygen.
i =preferred= the frat boys with the bullhorn exhorting girls to to keg stands right behind us to those little shits.
[1] - those paper things that make a loud popping noise on impact. look vaguely like inch-long paper sperm.
Re:
Re:
if you and your littermate want to have a war with them and blow your fucking corneas off, i'm all for that, but the instant you start pegging bystanders for sport, and i happen to be one of them, you bet your lily-white ass i'm coming back at you with something a hell of a lot bigger from my arsenal.
hmmm. this sounds suspiciously like my stance on foreign policy, too.
(no subject)
(no subject)
Re:
Re:
I agree - even if you have no concern for others if you raise a brat you're the one who has to live with them at the end of the day!
Mine has his moments for being a right pain in the aese but in general he's pretty well behaved for a 4 year old ... you'd certainly never catch him throwing things at people
(no subject)
Do you know how hard it is to properly cut hair?
Heh.
Oh and "Good job!"
(no subject)
Re:
the compounding of ill-mannered sprogs, the kegstanding fratboys of doom, and drunken belligerent asshole theater on the part of one of the members of our group were all just in conjunction. . . and i was stone fucking sober [by choice, because if i'd been drinking, i -would- have waded into the fray and subsequently require bail money].
(no subject)
No Fears....
I have to share this - it lowers me to their level, but was so excellent at the time: Bowling this weekend; the littlest monster, Alax, who is 4, was hiting and kicking me, often in the ass, as I passed him to go up and bowl. At one point he hit me several times right in the brown-eye. I was ignoring him up until then, but his jostlings created a certain imbalance of pressure in my colon, causing me to have a generous fart on deck. One more hit and a glance back to make sure his face was in the right place, and I blasted this little delinquent-in-training fuck-stain right in the face with a loud nasty Smaug Fart (tm).
Damn, I rock.
Re: No Fears....
(no subject)
You are the man.
(no subject)
Re:
What's my name, bitch!
And I promise that no spawn of mine shall ever lob explosives at bystanders.
Re: What's my name, bitch!
(no subject)
Maybe its something in the water causing this mass stupidity.
Speaking from someone who is raising another's procreation...
She doesnt discipline them at all... and otherwise complains they dont listen to her.
Of course kids were 9 months old and 3 when they fell into my lap. So they might as well be mine except genetically.
Hrmm... we dont have that problem. We spank.. oh yes we do! Havent spanked the 6 year old in probably... 6 months or so. We dont leave bruises.. just a nice reminder. People suck and 90% of the parents in today's world I wouldnt let them babysit my children.
Yeah go ahead.. go play out front and get kidnapped. Uhm. NO. My kids dont go anywhere that I dont know about. Frankly their grandmothers' new husband isnt allowed extended time with them because he isnt responsible. He fed them cotton candy until they got sick in MY CAR. HA. He is supervised now.
My kids dont play guns. You even pretend to "shoot someone" and I am going to make you walk right up to my lap and BEND OVER in the anticipation of good old swat to your rump.
But then again.. we have probably 2 of the best brood I could imagine. Other people who dont like kids like our kids. They play well together (for the most part except for times like when Bella shoved her little brother into the drawer and shut it...) They can amuse themselves individually. My 6 year old can read and write in English and Spanish. SHe knows what a command prompt is and the difference between Linux and Windows. We are working on touch typing now... She knows if I say her name she better dman well stop what she is doing and pay attention.
Both children can be taken out to dinner, and have them sit quietly for between 2-4 hours... Both children can be walked THROUGH a toy store, without buying a THING, and not say "I want..." one time.
Neither child is known to run around without permission. Nither child bites, hits, or in other manners beats up on other children unless needed.
Actually since the spawn are my fiance's and his ex wife's... we are going to have one more. God only knows what this thing will turn out like... Probably hell in a pink basket if it has my genetics..
I know they are going to be hellion teen's because they are pretty damn good kids... so they will need to rebel. If they are anything like me....
At 15 my father tripped me trying to run out of the house, sat on me, turned my ass over and beat my butt until it was raw. Of course this was because I had tripped my step-mother going down the stairs and she had broken her leg...
/sigh.
Moral to the comment?
Beat the children. If you do.. they shall respect you. Dont let them get away with anything... or at least nothign important. Teach them respect, teach them to LISTEN that when you say NO you mean NO, or there are serious consequences. All children should fear their parents a little.
Parents let their damn kids get away with too much. I have no idea what it means for society in 20 years... I might just retire to a remote island by then...
Re: Speaking from someone who is raising another's procreation...
"my dad beat the living -shit- outta me, and i'm looking forward to having kids so i can beat the shit outta them." - denis leary
Senseless beatings.....
I can remember packing a bag to run away from home once or twice, in tears after a spanking - always packed my favorite Micronauts, a few LEGOs, my Mickey Mouse socks, and rarely any more clothes. I never could figure out how to get the window open enough to get out, though.
Re: Speaking from someone who is raising another's procreation...
I dont like kids who go to adult movies. If your kids starts making noise then GO HOME.
I dont like kids at adult resteraunts, and places they shouldnt be. Theater's, Bars, etc. Museums, UNLESS it is a children's exhibit.
I shouldnt be expected to make other people's children behave.. and yet they cant do it themselves. We have ahd 2 kids kicked out of Nikki's school for agression... and I am working on a third. I dont let my father spend long amounts of time with them because he has some bad habits I dont want them catching!
My six year old does her own laundry, changes her sheets, empties the dishwasher and takes out the trash. In two years when Nikki starts doing chores they will change and split different things. But right now Nikki sweeps his room, takes off his bedding, and is in charge of keeping the toys put away. Any toy I found left out where it doesnt belong get's thrown away. (ok in reality they get donated) They have too many damn toys anyway. Every time they get a new toy they have to choose one to give away. And it has to be theirs, not their siblings.
Bah.
ok /rant off.
(no subject)
PS: Can we just rotate you through the local shopping centers so I don't have to constantly dodge loose children running at full speed, head first, at my groin? Or perhaps a sharing plan, you could be the CG child enforcement arm?
(no subject)
RE: Knees
And no one, no one, believes it is self defense when a grown white man is at the scene of a child wiping out. God forbid the kid isn't white - albeit the last time that happened the big momma was so shocked when I picked her kid out of my way by one arm and over the kid's frantic screams asked her "Is this yours? It's leash must have snapped." that she forgot to castigate me for being a racist white bastard until I was sufficiently far away that it just sounded like muttering.
Ironically, I am not a racist person. I hate all idiots equally and yet to have any proof that any one ethnicity or gender has a monopoly on stupid.
Re: Knees
*cough*
(no subject)
That's the best parenting advise I've read in a LONG time. You're a beautiful, beautiful person, Rafe. Keep yelling at kids. It's for their own good. :)
(no subject)
i keep meaning to ask - which of your cats is that icon of?
(no subject)
This is the vii.
(no subject)
[i am calling Volt at lunch, MSFT doesn't appear to be panning out]
(no subject)
I was also once quoted as saying to a parent like that on a flight that I was on, "Look lady, if you can't teach your spawn to behave like a decent human being maybe you should give him to someone that can."
And what's the line from Parenthood? Something like: "You need a license to catch a fish. You need a license to buy a dog, but they'll let any butreeming asshole be a father."