Baseball as Hockey

[from King Kaufman's column in Salon this morning}

> I've never met any actual people who think that a snarling, venomous rivalry that occasionally spills over into beanball wars and bench-clearing brawls is anything but a rocking good time.

This is why people watch hockey, and us purists get annoyed when the neo-hippy whiners complain that it's too violent, and that fighting has no place in the game. Watching these people discover that a little violence is good for the soul is almost as much fun as watching them feel guilty about it afterwards.

Plus, they don't drink anything but white wine when they come over, which, as Kenny Mayne says, "That's more beer for us."

Wal-Martians

[crossposted from a thought-provoking post by anassadeina]

I don't like to patronize Valmair because, basically, they're slower than fuck and their produce is terrible. If i need a quick-hit thing that isn't groceries, it's the closest place to the house. but there's something about the "Lowest Common Denominator" aspect of it that bothers me. . . not just because I'm a crass, elitist fuck, but because my current employment/financial situation makes shopping there easy to rationalize.

I do not wish to become one of the fat-assed, brain-dead, drawling hicks in their commercials. That is an image that is antithical to my own self-image and feelings of worth. It works for millions of people - great. It's bad enough that I've had to subvert large tracts of my personality to corporate life, I fully intend to react negatively against having to do so in my personal life as well, but am compelled by factors I can exert almost no control over, to knuckle under to these blase` purveyors of basic things.

I am a beautiful and unique fucking snowflake. Tyler Durden wears blue overalls, and he's my bitch.