This is seldom the level of service I deliver, but sometimes, you just gotta.

After some back-and-forth about a site's script being slow, one of my users asked the following:

Help me understand because I am not wise in the ways and means of websites –

When I pull up the website on my laptop via the wireless card, the site comes up perfectly normal. When I pull it up on my desk top, I get the below described messages and problems. Am I to understand that the designer of the web page has put in a special code so that it will not come up properly only on a desktop computer located in a cubicle on the 4th floor of the [company] HQ building?

Have I got that right?

My reply:

Coders are devious and evil. Cowls hide their faces, their hands are gnarled from untold hours of typing, and shake from all the caffeine they subsist on. I know many, have seen their dark rites, and would not put such perniciousness past them.

That said, from your initial email, it sounded like your browser always had problems when visiting this site, and hadn't realized it was fine on the laptop but recalcitrant on your desktop system.

Let's take the Occam's Razor approach, and purge the temporary internet files (tools -> options -> delete temporary internet files) to rid ourselves of any cached script data that's fouled up; follow this by directing your browser to auto-purge itself in the future (go to the Advanced tab, scroll most of the way to the bottom, and check the box beside "delete temporary internet files on browser exit."

After clearing out the temporary files, close all open browser windows, reopen it anew, and see if [site] behaves itself.

If not, I'll send [coworker] up with some stakes and holy water.

Muahahahah....

Now that’s a good e-mail –

I will try your procedure shortly.

Jimmy MF Carter lays it down....

Courtesy of The Rude One, Jimmy Carter Ownzorz some n00bs.

Merry fuckin' Christmas Friday!