2005-03-10 09:16![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
digitaldiscipline
digitaldisciplineI've been relatively quiet lately, mostly out of a lack of shit to say; and when I've gone and opened my mouth, I've been short, brusque, and generally an all-around clod to folks I'm supposed to be a friend to. Me culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Minimal transmission to continue, since it's hard to see the screen with my head this far up my ass. I apologize to every one of you who I've been a dipshit to lately.
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.
- Marcus Aurelius
Ol' Marky Mark never considered the notion of "validation," I bet.
I may or may not think I kick a variable quantity of ass at any given moment; it all depends on the day, phase of the moon, blood sugar level, time elapsed since last sexual encounter, recent video game score, dinner menu, Beard Status, or any number of other, even less rational criteria.
My ego is reportedly mighty, and a force to be reckoned with. So I hear. ;-)
However, the flip side of that coin is self-doubt, which also has the capacity to be mighty.
The capacity to be objective when it comes to one's deeds and accomplishments is inversely proportional to the swing of the internal confidence meter away from center. . . When you think you rule, you can't see your faults. When you think you suck, you can't see anything but.
So you ask someone else, someone who isn't subject to your emotional maelstrom, to render judgement, and you trust them. Believe them. Hope they'll be both right, honest, and reassuring.
We turn to friends, colleagues, strangers in a bar, whomever. . . "I don't suck, do I? That thing I did was all right, wasn't it?" or "Did you see that?" or "Do I look like four hundred pounds of mealworms and rotten liver?"
If a guy kicks ass in the forest, and nobody's there to high-five, whose ass is he kicking?
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.
- Marcus Aurelius
Ol' Marky Mark never considered the notion of "validation," I bet.
I may or may not think I kick a variable quantity of ass at any given moment; it all depends on the day, phase of the moon, blood sugar level, time elapsed since last sexual encounter, recent video game score, dinner menu, Beard Status, or any number of other, even less rational criteria.
My ego is reportedly mighty, and a force to be reckoned with. So I hear. ;-)
However, the flip side of that coin is self-doubt, which also has the capacity to be mighty.
The capacity to be objective when it comes to one's deeds and accomplishments is inversely proportional to the swing of the internal confidence meter away from center. . . When you think you rule, you can't see your faults. When you think you suck, you can't see anything but.
So you ask someone else, someone who isn't subject to your emotional maelstrom, to render judgement, and you trust them. Believe them. Hope they'll be both right, honest, and reassuring.
We turn to friends, colleagues, strangers in a bar, whomever. . . "I don't suck, do I? That thing I did was all right, wasn't it?" or "Did you see that?" or "Do I look like four hundred pounds of mealworms and rotten liver?"
