Intrinsic Whinging (for once, the weird UK spelling works for me)

[digitaldiscipline]

I've been relatively quiet lately, mostly out of a lack of shit to say; and when I've gone and opened my mouth, I've been short, brusque, and generally an all-around clod to folks I'm supposed to be a friend to. Me culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. Minimal transmission to continue, since it's hard to see the screen with my head this far up my ass. I apologize to every one of you who I've been a dipshit to lately.


I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than on the opinion of others.
- Marcus Aurelius

Ol' Marky Mark never considered the notion of "validation," I bet.

I may or may not think I kick a variable quantity of ass at any given moment; it all depends on the day, phase of the moon, blood sugar level, time elapsed since last sexual encounter, recent video game score, dinner menu, Beard Status, or any number of other, even less rational criteria.

My ego is reportedly mighty, and a force to be reckoned with. So I hear. ;-)

However, the flip side of that coin is self-doubt, which also has the capacity to be mighty.

The capacity to be objective when it comes to one's deeds and accomplishments is inversely proportional to the swing of the internal confidence meter away from center. . . When you think you rule, you can't see your faults. When you think you suck, you can't see anything but.

So you ask someone else, someone who isn't subject to your emotional maelstrom, to render judgement, and you trust them. Believe them. Hope they'll be both right, honest, and reassuring.

We turn to friends, colleagues, strangers in a bar, whomever. . . "I don't suck, do I? That thing I did was all right, wasn't it?" or "Did you see that?" or "Do I look like four hundred pounds of mealworms and rotten liver?"

If a guy kicks ass in the forest, and nobody's there to high-five, whose ass is he kicking?

Comments

[etcet.livejournal.com]

"Jesus was struck from his donkey by the rabble, he did not 'get stoned off his ass'."

Need your preferred email addy. C12 plannings are afoot!

[angel-renewed.livejournal.com]

Haven't pissed me off lately, but I've been in my own little world. We need mojitos. Stat. I have seltzer water. I have rum. I have sugar. I have mint. AND I have a bootleg copy of Constantine.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

*ph34rs*

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

I'd hang wit' ye, before I'd see ye hang alone.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Quit hogging the gibbet! There's enough rope here for everybody. . .

[critus.livejournal.com]

The capacity to be objective when it comes to one's deeds and accomplishments is inversely proportional to the swing of the internal confidence meter away from center. . . When you think you rule, you can't see your faults. When you think you suck, you can't see anything but.

Damn, but is that true.

I'll admit to noticing you've been a bit on the brusque side recently, and I'm glad to see that it doesn't appear to be anything directly related to me.

Question - Where are you going to do your AC shopping this weekend and when are you planning on doing it? I need to look into that stuff myself. Perhaps I can give you some kilt wearing company, if ya want it.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Nah, not you. I felt bad for being snippy with Krys last night (K pointed it out), too, but that was just the latest bead on the string.

As far A/C as places, the TECO dude recommended a shop on the corner of Busch & Armenia, but the name eludes me. I was doing some preliminary research, and it looks like about two grand for a 2 1/2 ton 12 SEER a/c unit and heat pump, maybe another couple hundred to go up to 13 SEER. Not sure what the square footage at your place is, but I figure you're probably looking at something similar, or maybe a 3 ton unit.

I'll give ya a holler tonight or tomorrow; the a/c expedition is tentative for late morning on saturday, depending on weather (I need to get back under the house to remove debris; do you by any chance have a hacksaw?).

[critus.livejournal.com]

Nope. No hacksaw. And I'll be over on that side of the bay at some point on Saturday already. I'm having new head shots taken. I think my appointment is in the early afternoon. I'll have to check when I get home tonight.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

That'll work. Let me know, and we can juggle things at our end to work with that (other than the above activities, all I've got planned is a bunch of sitting on my ass, and hitting the gym; Perhaps Castling in the evening).

[critus.livejournal.com]

Ok, my appointment is at 1:30. I'm supposed to hit Weight Watchers with my sister at 10:00. I'd be out of there around 10:30, so if I went straight over to Tampa I'd be there around 11-11:15. Could be doable.

[trystbat.livejournal.com]

Dude, just writing that proves how much ass you kick. *smooch* (in a platonic & non-jealousy-inducing way, of course ;-)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

How do you figure? *blink, blink*

Darn your platonic smooches! How am I supposed to cop a platonic feel? ;-)

[trystbat.livejournal.com]

Smart, funny, hint o' pretention, introspective w/out extensive navel-gazing. If I could dance to it, I'd give it an 85!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

just imagine a subliminal "oontz" happening, then. it could be VNV's next hit single.

"N.U.I." *poke, poke* "I have just been informed that it is pronounced 'on-WEE.'"

Goth get angstier!

[thefeline.livejournal.com]

YOU ROCK. Hush your mouth. You've been nothing but charming and fabulous and supportive to me the entire time I've known you online and well now in person. I think you and Ms. K need to visit soon :) Or vice versa. Yup. Uhuh! Yup yup!!!

[poisongirl.livejournal.com]

Phases come and phases go. Everybody has one of these.
No worries from me. You've endured more than your share of my angst or just general navel gazing from me so I don't mind at all.

[ex-xn667.livejournal.com]

Dipshit? Nah. Ever since a certain encounter at a metro station, I prefer to think of you fondly as "muffinhead" *eg*

Seriously though, for whatever brusqueness you've shared with others I've not been noticeably subjected to it. If anything, in your own understated kinda way (what??? you, understated?) something in a short phrase you keyed recently was rather quite the opposite, and I was grateful. Given the matter involved, it meant quite a lot, especially coming from you. Even had you been snippy, I'd feel rather inclined to overlook, especially considering some of my own shenanigans to which you've been witness (some of which I continued to learn about for *days* afterwards, with little to no recollection on my part, heh).

As for your observation on validation, kudos. Of course my own currency is the one I value most, but I'd be an idiot to not watch how it performs against the rest of the market, as it were.

[ladysoleil.livejournal.com]

I love you, but I'm really high right now. Not that I don't, but there's definitely a chemical filter in play right now.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

you got the spooky gothic cum-drugs from the africanized bees. so not fair!

[the-yellow-king.livejournal.com]

Clod? Nay, not truly. You are merely bedeviled by those particular worms of the self that like to gnaw at the guts.
All that is required is a signpost to show that you are on the correct path. Thusly, the worms will then be left behind and you will be able to saunter forward in equitable mood, equally balanced between the mount of ego and the vale of self-doubt.

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

Truer words were never spoke.

The likability of an individual has more to do with how they make others feel than with who or what they are. If you make another person feel validated, *you* are a likable person.

Call them on their shit (deservedly or no), and *you* are an asshole.

Interesting world...