It's cool to have smart friends.

[digitaldiscipline]

When they write thoughtful stuff like this.

Comments

[theonebob.livejournal.com]

I'm 45 and I just bought a new pair of Converse sneakers.

It's not how you look when you get to the end of the race, but what have you learned.

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

Wha....? You're 45?? You sure as hell don't look it! (Is that an old pic?)

Y'know, I used that example because Converse sneakers have always been my choice sneaker. Let's see... I have in my collection a pink pair (bought in 9th grade; my friend bought a canary yellow pair, and we'd trade one shoe and wear pink/yellow together...heh), a maroon pair, a blue pair, a purple pair, and of course... a black pair. hehe

[theonebob.livejournal.com]

Mine are red.

I was 41 in that pic, here's a more recent one. ;-)

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

Yep, you're a very young 45! :) (I'd assumed you were my age.)

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

As a parent, I can tell you that I have a *much* better relationship with, and more respect *from*, my teen. In part, I attribute this to the fact that I play, and I bother to remember what it was like to be her age.

Someone please tell me why it is that, in order to be considered a "grown-up", one must lose all sense of self, take up golf or knitting, watch the news at night, peck ones spouse on the cheek at exactly the same time of day after work, and do it all again the following day with no mirth or enjoyment?

So long as I am paying my bills, taking care of my families physical needs, and acting in a responsible manner (not drinking/taking drugs/any other "at risk" behaviour), they can call me whatever they want...I *am* a responsible adult. I just choose to actually enjoy my life too. So sue me. ;P

[netgoth.livejournal.com]

/seconded

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

I agree. My point wasn't that "grown up" has to mean becoming boring, conventional, lifeless, etc. If anything, I was trying to say--look, there are all these awful stereotypes of aging, and they're scary. (They scare the hell out of me too, and I'm anything but conventional.) And, there's certainly nothing wrong with being young at heart. At the same time though, I'm thinking that a tenacious hold on youth culture might be causing people to get developmentally stuck in some ways.

Growing older has the same reputation that marriage does: it's all about banality. My point is simply that it shouldn't have to be only about losing a sense of self, taking up knitting, or [insert scary evil thing here]. I want to be an old woman someday who hasn't had a face lift or a boob job, and who wears her hair long (even though she's way over 35 and 45 and 55) and gray and is happy with it!

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

I'm not so much disagreeing with you as I am the psychological talking heads.

[so-il-singer.livejournal.com]

You seem so sure of yourself. I have to question if you really *know* how your "teen" feels about you.

Pretty much ALL parents don't... but they sure convince themselves otherwise.

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

Perhaps most...but there are exceptions to all rules.

You would have to know us...and, as you don't, you can't know what our relationship is.

It'd take me a looooong time to describe it, and why I am so sure of myself. In a nutshell, I gave her a voice her whole life long. She has told me, to my face, when she thinks I am full of shit. In as many words. My response is, "OK...explain why I am full of shit". If the argument is logical, I admit to being full of shit.

I'm sure there have been quite a few "shuffling black people" to warrant the stereotype too, but it's still racist to say it of the entire group.

relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

excuse me but how do you know what i feel? Im selkiesirens teen and I can tell you my mother does not have to convince herself that she knows what I feel because I tell her so. I tell her because i trust her now if you have children (mainly teens) the I would have to wonder about what kind of relationship you have with your kids if you just presume that if its true with other people then it must be true for everybody. take this for an example I may come off as a bad seed because of the way I dress but I can tell you from me hearing from many sources that I am a wonderful kid. If you dont believe me ask around then come to a conclusion.

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[so-il-singer.livejournal.com]

well, bully for you. I suppose you tell Mom all about your deepest, darkest secrets, eh? have you tried drugs, alcohol, sex, dangerous little pastimes? I guess Mom knows about every one of them, eh? If so, then great. Write a book for your compatriots to show them how to relate to ol' mom and dad better... because you're just about the ONLY ONE.

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

look dude im 13 and im incredibly honest to my parents i have not tried anything dangerouse because of my parents so yah i do tell my mom my secrets but i have not done anything dangerous SO!.....do you have a problem with so if you have a problem with speak now or forever hold your peace JERK-OFF!

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[so-il-singer.livejournal.com]

grow up. oh, wait.. you don't have to yet, do you?

someday.

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

did you not read the part about me being BLOODY 13!!!!

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

:::giggles:::

I find it exceptionally amusing that you are arguing vociferously and callowly the subject of maturity with my 13 year old.

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[so-il-singer.livejournal.com]

Good! Geez... it takes work to write good humor, y'know? :)

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

hmmmmmmm......was it humor?was'nt very funny.....

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

hmmmmmmmmm....that was HUMOR? was'nt very funny "bully for you" "write a book to your compatriots about you get along with ol mom dad""I suppose you tell Mom all about your deepest, darkest secrets, eh?"
"You seem so sure of yourself. I have to question if you really *know* how your "teen" feels about you." not really humorus.......

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

Squish...not everyone in the world, unfortunately, cares enough to be honest with civility and gentleness. It's a rare trait, in fact. Sarcasm and bitterness seem to be the verbal trade of the day.

I'm sure no real intent to harm was there, but I do understand why it is you would feel hurt. In your way of thinking, saying you aren't honest about your feelings is an insult. Unfortunately, most kids are pretty proud of the exact opposite...how much they can pull over their parents eyes. I blame the parents for this, in large part, but that's a story for another day...

For now, let's abandon this particular conversation, and move on to ones that do more to make you feel good.

People can drop their emotional baggage at your feet, but it can only be yours if you willingly pick it up.

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

k mom if you say so.....::growls::

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[selkiesiren.livejournal.com]

It's just a suggestion, hon...if you would prefer to hang out and hash this out some more, that's your choice. All I ask is that you keep the language toned down.

I *do* think it would be better for you to let it go, but I am not going to dictate to you how to run your interactions here to a point. If it gets out of hand, I may intercede, but so long as it is mainly civil, you are in charge of the choice to stay or go.

Of course, it's also the choice of the LJ owner as to whether he wants an argument on his journal.

And now, I think I am absenting myself from the thread. If you need me, let me know. And, you can always talk to me at home if you'd like.

Re: relation to selkiesiren

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

lol no mom im not gonna do that that would achive nothing.......UNLESS.....SOMONE....wants to push me over the edge...

Youth vs. Immaturity

[ashesngolddust.livejournal.com]

Hey, whatever makes you happy and feel good about yourself. But if immaturity and all the social problems that are stigmatized with immaturity follow the package, then there is a problem. I "Grew Up" when I was ten, having taken care of myself since the 4th grade and moved out before I graduated high school. But I still ove to have fun and play dress up and cut loose when I don't have other responsibilities wheighing on me at that moment... But does this mean I am interrupting my growing process? I don't think so. If I let my love for fun interrupt my responsibilities... Then I would say there is a bigger issue at hand. But aside from pedophilia, and social strains, I don't see the problem with people trying to recapture their youth... Even if it makes it hard for others to take them seriously. If they want to express themselves at a juvenile level, let them! I think everyone is guilty of this sometimes. But I think the only concern is for extreme cases. "Nuff said.

[inlaterdays.livejournal.com]

categories, shmategories ;)

i've liked both comic books and victorian lit pretty much since i was able to read. i pay my taxes on time, but i flop on the floor to put my shoes on. math is fun; shopping is hard.

i think the most important thing is not to do what you think society expects of your age/gender/insert demographic here, but to follow your fish and find your bliss and make your own way in the world.

obviously, there are a few rules one should not break, like "don't rob banks" and "don't kill people," but if you're getting by and no one's getting hurt, 's'all good. :)

[david-deacon.livejournal.com]

When I use "w00t," it is understood to have ironic quotation marks around it.

And I want to see "Batman Begins."

batman begins rocks

[thenightteen.livejournal.com]

you have got to see this movie its not a let down i can tell you! :)

[geekers.livejournal.com]

My exes father was the biggest kid I know. He enjoyed life until his time was up. I think after surviving WWII, losing a leg from a train accident, and surviving a large amount of serious heart surgeries one can consider a man "adult"... even if he still enjoys childish pranks, a dinner of pizza/soda/ice cream to be the greatest treat and all things train!

Interests in childish things are not terrible in and of themselves (nor do they necessarily imply that persons with said interests wish to return to their youth).... acting childish, and not growing as a person are.

I cooked for myself and was home alone at a very young age. I was always a very responsible person. So what if I like playing video games and eating mac & cheese? I think being a responsible adult means that you are able to pay for those video games and mac & cheese instead of relying on someone elses money.

In response to a snippet of the post:
... "the downside of making adolescence such a fun-filled, adventure-bound time of self-seeking and exploration is that no one wants to leave it!"
Why should that only be done in adolescence. Why shouldn't a 30 or 40-year-old experience fun or continue self-seeking and exploration? Why is "not leaving it" even considered a problem?

[theonebob.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry but once you turn 35 you have to wear old man shoes and forget about riding on roller coasters, listening to rock music and watching cartoons. On your 35th birthday please remember to report to the Senior Center where you'll be issued your cane, rocker and Pat Boone records."

[geekers.livejournal.com]

Ohnoes! (Do I have to stop using that term?) Do I have to turn in good wine for Boone's Farm wine, too? ("Old people" tend to drink cheap alcohol and/or good scotch, but I already enjoy the scotch. :p)

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

Huh? That's not what I've observed. Most younger people don't have $$ to drop on a good bottle of wine. The older demographic has the resources to be more into good wine. I can only speak for myself, but my wine purchases keep getting better with age. :)

[geekers.livejournal.com]

I think it varies. There are two types: People who think why waste money on top shelf alcohol (especially re: wine because the box stuff is Such A Good Deal :p) or the people that have taste. ;}

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

*blush* I'm touched. :)

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

It is clear to me now that I did not express myself as well as I wanted in my earlier post. In an effort to clarify a little: I was in no way criticizing people for wanting to maintain a youthful attitude through the years, if "youthful attitude" translates to 1) having a sense of humor, 2) having fun, 3) living (and dressing) unconventionally, and 4) enjoying games and other recreational activities--hobbies, "interests," whatever. For those of you who know me even somewhat well, you know that I'm (happily) guilty of ALL FOUR of these.

My point, which I didn't make very well the first time around, is that these four things are not inherently any more characteristic of youth than of any other age group. If anything, the fact that they're associated more with youth does nothing if not underscore my original point: As a culture, we don't have enough positive images of aging! To reiterate from my original post, If we (collectively) do not quickly attempt to find a more positive side of aging, we're going to be left with a society of pathetic-looking and pathetic-acting older people who never give up being 20-something.

And yes, there is, in my mind (and from reading your responses I'd guess in many cases in yours as well), something very wrong with the 30-something who still lives in Mom and Dad's basement, hangs out with "the gang" from high school every night, and tries to live a youth that no longer exists. And yes, we do have more of that these days than we did in the past--this type of thing is what happens when youth is held up as the only time of life worth living (and when youth are catered to to a much greater extent than they used to be). And, to the extent that old(er) age is more and more negatively stereotyped, this is more and more true.

To repeat what I said above, I want to be an old woman someday who hasn't had a face lift or a boob job, and who wears her hair long (even though she's way over 35 and 45 and 55) and gray and is happy with it! Maybe that's what some people would call immature, but I'd say they're incorrectly using the word. It's simply living one's live and not trying to be something one isn't.