Courtesy of elixxir

[digitaldiscipline]

A lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
Women should learn self-defense. Women should lock themselves in their houses after dark. Women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't wear short skirts. Women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. Fuck, they shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important.

Comments

[dogsbody01.livejournal.com]

Your right! It's hightime, that the men show some responsibility instead of bashing Women!Why do I agree?Because I was raped when I was 20, and I'm still beating myself up mentally for not fighting back.

[fenixinthedark.livejournal.com]

:::nods:::

I know it's hard, but try not to bash yourself too much. When faced with a threat like that, we all react more out of instinct and do what that instinct tells us will help us to survive in the moment. Being able to replay it later we can grade our choices, but, whereas 20/20 hindsight is a wonderfully accurate thing it can never aid us in the here and now.

(Speaking from similar experience...)

[dogsbody01.livejournal.com]

Thanks and I've gotten better, about not blaming myself.It's funny(not in a haha kind of way)that I can tell strangers online, about what happened to me.But after nine years, no one in my immediate or extended family still knows about it.Then again most of my family, is so judgemental that it's probably for the best.

[fenixinthedark.livejournal.com]

You're singing my song there.

[dogsbody01.livejournal.com]

Glad to know that I'm not alone, in that respect either. Sadly.

[geekers.livejournal.com]

... and replace the female counterpart (woman=man, girlfriend=boyfriend, frat-boy=sorority sister, etc.) and then I agree (but I'm still not reposting it).

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

*WILD APPLAUSE* You bet I'm reposting it.

[fenixinthedark.livejournal.com]

Snagged and reposted.

And, thanks.

[bynner.livejournal.com]

I agree in principle that it's good to not rape people, but writing:

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.

and

don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions.

seem to contradict one-another. Anyone who goes off alone and allows themself to become severely incapacitated through drugs or alcohol or whatever does share some portion of "responsibility" for what might happen to them. It's not their "fault" if someone engages in criminal activity against them in that state, but neither may they play hapless victim, as they were not "hapless" (as in, their circumstances were shaped by events utterly outside their knowledge and/or control).

[ex-requiella957.livejournal.com]

Sure, it's never smart to carelessly leave oneself vulnerable to violence. I would certainly not advocate camping out in a dark alley in a drug-induced haze for any period of time. Nonetheless, I think the point of this post is that the emphasis is too often misdirected--rather than focusing on the perpetrator, we tend too often to blame the victim. This victim-blaming mentality helps to create a boys-will-be-boys culture in which the focus is on teaching women to be careful, rather than teaching men that there is NO excuse--EVER--for rape.