I am -really- going to kill my #$^% boss

[digitaldiscipline]

Why shall I smite thee? Let me count the ways.

1. You don't pay me well. I do all the typing, filing, correspondence, and phone work, in addition to translating your semi-sentient gibberish into coherent content when I only have the barest fucking clue what you're talking about, in addition to playing webmaster, sysadmin, tech support. . . oh, and I also get to play Mom and Accounts Receivable, too. Let's see a little more love than nine bucks an hour.

2. You don't pay me for the billable hours we get from clients. I don't mind the fact that the Administrative Support line items are what covers my paycheck, but when I'm contributing to the stuff we're billing at $120 an hour in a real and meaningful fashion, by doing research and helping you focus your scatterbrained thoughts and I see -none- of that, I begin to get pissy.

3. You meddle and tinker out of all rational expectation. Let me finish going through one draft of your illegible and nonsensical scrawlings before making more changes, and for chrissake, make up your goddamned mind. It doesn't hurt to actually -read- the notations you're making in three different places, to see if they're redundant and/or contradict one another, because YOU are the one who's supposed to know what the fuck you're talking about, I'm just the secretary, not your editorial fucking review process. Or should I add that to the list of undocumented free features I'm not getting paid for?

4. You have a Palm Pilot for a reason - it keeps track of your appointments because you're much more dilligent about entering them in that than you are about telling me about them. Don't get pissy when a deadline sneaks up on you when the only time I've heard of it was when you mentioned it once, in a passing conversation, two months ago.

5. Speaking of deadlines, it's useful to work on projects BEFORE they are due in the next week and a half instead of playing Freecell and incessantly checking your stock plays. If you want me to crack the whip to keep you busy, fine, but you need to -listen- when I ask you what's going on with Client X or Case Y. Just because it's a ways off doesn't mean it's not important, but you're the boss, you're the one who's supposed to know what's more important.

5a. This is just a hunch, but the itinerary for a meeting in mid-April is NOT important when you have a huge article, that could generate a shitload of business, due in FOUR DAYS. Stop hectoring me about an email we never got - the announcement arrived in a fucking _binder_. I have no idea where you put the informational packet back in November.

6. If you pick up a file and work on it, PUT IT BACK. I don't have a line of sight to the workroom or your desk, so if you play with something, then play with something else, and then play with a third thing, how the bloody fuck am I supposed to know where you put the first two?

7. Excavate your fucking desk. You might actually be able to find things then.

8. When you come in on Saturdays, sit at your own desk, not mine. I can't find a fucking thing after you've whirlwinded my desk like a ferret in need of a Ritalin fix. And because It's my job to keep track of everything, since you're proving that you're increasingly incapable of doing so, don't argue when I tell you where something is, LOOK THERE, and if for some reason you don't see it, look where I TOLD you to look, not where you thought you saw it last. It's right there. Really. See? Right where I told you it was.