Altnernately Thrilled and Desperate

[digitaldiscipline]

(though not Sky-High and Fucked)

A former FEMA guru and all-around scary security motherfucker (consultant we work with) asked me to put together an idiot's guide to using a computer and how to make Power Point dance, and asked my hourly rates.

"I want something for me - my wife says, 'Hit the Return Key,' and it takes me five minutes, because it's the ENTER key." (To his credit, he is clueful enough to say, "you know, something like 'This is not your computer (points to monitor), and -this- is not your computer (points to keyboard)."

He was polite enough to shoot coffee out his nose when I showed him the "hold paper against the screen to scan it" trick.

Those of you familiar with my Adelphia Angst may want to sit down before reading the next sentence, but. . . I'm actually looking forward to doing this, because I'm good at it and it's kinda fun (and it's decent coin).

Comments

[dcfeline.livejournal.com]

As long as you're getting paid for this. I'm a lil confused as to what he's looking for..exactly. A basic user guide??

[etcet.livejournal.com]

pretty much. "i know jack shit about computers, but i want to be able to put together powerpoint presentations for when i give toxic spill cleanup instruction seminars. i would consider it an honor to earn the title 'computer geek.'"

[dcfeline.livejournal.com]

Ah...that'll be pretty simple. I take it it's not in his budget to hire an admin. asst.? ::smirk::

Glad you're getting paid for that. I suggest you also keep it on hand...get it copyrighted and make further profits off of it :)

PowerPoint is pretty bloody simple...if folks can't figure the program out...they should PAY! Muwhahaha!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

this is mostly for his edification and private use, i gather. i don't think a cute little secretary at the house would go over with the wife too well. ;-)

i agree about PPT - i'm far from a pro, but i can make it my bitch without too much hassle. he wants to take 35mm images (he's got the primo scanner) and insert graphics into something relatively professional-looking; that's my perception.

[dcfeline.livejournal.com]

Milk it for every penny it's worth.

I think algernon33 has a brilliant circus seal analogy that'd go over well in this guy's next presentation. ::smirk:: ::snicker:: ::chortle:: ::maniacal laughter::

[etcet.livejournal.com]

since K used to work with the sea lions at feeding time (train them to target, wave, sing, etc), i suspect my imaginings in this regard are skewed *laugh*

[dcfeline.livejournal.com]

She did?!?! I'm rather jealous!!!! I'd love to do something like that!

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

Extra money is good.

And I don't believe I'm familiar with your "Adelphia Angst" so I don't see the problem in looking forward to the project: You have a clear sense of what you're doing, and it's probably much more reasonable and straightforward than your day job seems to be. Plus, you get paid for it.

Rock.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

that's not a bad thought. not sure how much it'll amount to, but every little bit helps. whether it's in hand by then remains to be seen.

and i still need to file my damn tax return. c9 plane tix purchased, however.

[mpeace.livejournal.com]

That he is aware of the fact he needs the guide and is willing to pay you fair money to write it speaks volumes about him. (In a positive way!)

You should bind and sell them. I know so many people who could use one that starts all the way at the beginning and steps them through everything. Such a book would make a great gift...

[etcet.livejournal.com]

the trick here being, how to market it as something other than an anonymous "PC for Dummies" tome.

I tend to get caught up explaining minutae that may or may not be interesting. . . ask Whippingboi about all the esoteric BIOS crap i laid on him. *g*