2006-07-31 14:27![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
digitaldiscipline
digitaldiscipline[The following transcript was taken from an early portion of the Recordings of Blahg, a demon tasked with making an accounting of the deeds, good or ill, of Artmoth, Paladin of Hieronymous, Sign of the Rose, to document his faith in the face of adversity, to lay to rest questions of his fitness to purpose. Blahg has been Artmoth's constant companion for approximately three years at the time of this excerpt.]
Hey, everybody!
Blahg has to record what ever happens, so I'm making him do this right now while we're sitting at the Golden Nugget in Brontz (that's how the town's name sounds, anyways). Pretty neat, huh?
*demonic skittering noises, vaguely contemptuous*
Oh, right.
Hi, I'm Artmoth! I've been saying that a lot today; there are a lot of new people around, and I woke up very, very confused.
*cynical skittering*
Oh, shut up, Blahg, I'm not always confused. Just ... I don't remember falling asleep leaning against a big stone with a priest next to me. There were a bunch of other folks there, too - an Elf who doesn't like me, a Dwarf who doesn't like me, a Gnome who doesn't like me, an Orc who doesn't seem to care, and another Orc who is so dumb and ugly that I feel bad for him.
I don't think they can see Blahg.
*indignant skitter*
Well, I'm not going to come right out and tell them, no. Honestly, I think they should be happy; you're not much better looking than that Orc. I don't mean to be mean, but.... wow. Eff You Gee Ell Why.
*SKITTER*
Where was I? Oh, right, the stone in the grass with the other folks. They seemed pretty confused, too. The elf was angry about it, and the Dwarf was pretty annoyed, too. The Gnome seemed pretty laid-back about things, but she kept calling us cats, which was also kind of confusing.
And then a big invisible woman told us we were star-chosen, or something like that, and that we had to fight off The Dark, like John Barleycorn (*skitter*), oh, Starkweather John did (having Blahg recording everything isn't always bad, I guess). The Gnome is a bard, and knew a bunch of stuff about the legend. That's good; I hadn't heard of him before. I bet he was a great hero.
So, I guess that makes the seven of us are heroes-to-be. Neat.
But first, we needed to follow the invisible lady's directions and talk to Father Bronson in town. The Gnome was impatient, and she and the Elf and the smarter Orc started to leave, when my Pally-sense started tingling (I can pretty much tune Blahg's aura out by now, I've had lots of practice), and these shadow-Goblin things surrounded the stone circle and started throwing javelins at us and hissing, even after Smart Orc grunted something at them. With one of them for each of us, I guess it was a fair fight. Two of them ganged up on me at first, though, but the second one stopped throwing things when I said it was being naughty.
Then I hit the close one upside the head with my sword. That always made me behave when I was a kid.
*skitter, with what sounds like laughter mixed in*
I don't care if you think it explains anything, Blahg. They never broke the skin, and I have good posture and a great smile. I could be a news herald, you know.
*skitter, skitter*
That's enough, you're not making any friends saying things like that, you know.
Anyways, I was kind of roughed up, but the priest (who also worships Hieronymous; Big H rocks!) fixed me up a little, and we started heading towards town. Turns out we'd been on a little island with these big rocks on top of it; invisible lady was very, very serious about how nobody can be resurrected in this world, and that we should come back here if we get hurt.
Brontz looks pretty run-down, but not nearly as bad as the countryside. Smart Orc was telling the dwarf how much sexier the sheep back home were, but I'd rather not think about that. Once we made it to town, nobody seemed really friendly, even though I said hello to just about everybody. Gnome, Smart Orc (Smork?), and the priest went to see Father Bronson, while Dumb Orc, me, and the Dwarf (who is pretty darn big for a Dwarf) decided to hang out at the Golden Nugget; the Orc was trying to get drunk on a single pint (if there was ever someone who could drink themselves stupid on a mouthful of ale, I think they meant him), and the Dwarf was keeping an eye on some rowdy guys at the back. I don't think he wants me to go over and say hello, but I really want to.
Blahg didn't care for the local ale when I gave him some, and made the others think I just poured it on the floor while I talk to myself. I think that's part of why they don't like me. At least I don't think they can hear him.
It's enough to test a guy's faith. Oh, wait, that's the point.
Hey, everybody!
Blahg has to record what ever happens, so I'm making him do this right now while we're sitting at the Golden Nugget in Brontz (that's how the town's name sounds, anyways). Pretty neat, huh?
*demonic skittering noises, vaguely contemptuous*
Oh, right.
Hi, I'm Artmoth! I've been saying that a lot today; there are a lot of new people around, and I woke up very, very confused.
*cynical skittering*
Oh, shut up, Blahg, I'm not always confused. Just ... I don't remember falling asleep leaning against a big stone with a priest next to me. There were a bunch of other folks there, too - an Elf who doesn't like me, a Dwarf who doesn't like me, a Gnome who doesn't like me, an Orc who doesn't seem to care, and another Orc who is so dumb and ugly that I feel bad for him.
I don't think they can see Blahg.
*indignant skitter*
Well, I'm not going to come right out and tell them, no. Honestly, I think they should be happy; you're not much better looking than that Orc. I don't mean to be mean, but.... wow. Eff You Gee Ell Why.
*SKITTER*
Where was I? Oh, right, the stone in the grass with the other folks. They seemed pretty confused, too. The elf was angry about it, and the Dwarf was pretty annoyed, too. The Gnome seemed pretty laid-back about things, but she kept calling us cats, which was also kind of confusing.
And then a big invisible woman told us we were star-chosen, or something like that, and that we had to fight off The Dark, like John Barleycorn (*skitter*), oh, Starkweather John did (having Blahg recording everything isn't always bad, I guess). The Gnome is a bard, and knew a bunch of stuff about the legend. That's good; I hadn't heard of him before. I bet he was a great hero.
So, I guess that makes the seven of us are heroes-to-be. Neat.
But first, we needed to follow the invisible lady's directions and talk to Father Bronson in town. The Gnome was impatient, and she and the Elf and the smarter Orc started to leave, when my Pally-sense started tingling (I can pretty much tune Blahg's aura out by now, I've had lots of practice), and these shadow-Goblin things surrounded the stone circle and started throwing javelins at us and hissing, even after Smart Orc grunted something at them. With one of them for each of us, I guess it was a fair fight. Two of them ganged up on me at first, though, but the second one stopped throwing things when I said it was being naughty.
Then I hit the close one upside the head with my sword. That always made me behave when I was a kid.
*skitter, with what sounds like laughter mixed in*
I don't care if you think it explains anything, Blahg. They never broke the skin, and I have good posture and a great smile. I could be a news herald, you know.
*skitter, skitter*
That's enough, you're not making any friends saying things like that, you know.
Anyways, I was kind of roughed up, but the priest (who also worships Hieronymous; Big H rocks!) fixed me up a little, and we started heading towards town. Turns out we'd been on a little island with these big rocks on top of it; invisible lady was very, very serious about how nobody can be resurrected in this world, and that we should come back here if we get hurt.
Brontz looks pretty run-down, but not nearly as bad as the countryside. Smart Orc was telling the dwarf how much sexier the sheep back home were, but I'd rather not think about that. Once we made it to town, nobody seemed really friendly, even though I said hello to just about everybody. Gnome, Smart Orc (Smork?), and the priest went to see Father Bronson, while Dumb Orc, me, and the Dwarf (who is pretty darn big for a Dwarf) decided to hang out at the Golden Nugget; the Orc was trying to get drunk on a single pint (if there was ever someone who could drink themselves stupid on a mouthful of ale, I think they meant him), and the Dwarf was keeping an eye on some rowdy guys at the back. I don't think he wants me to go over and say hello, but I really want to.
Blahg didn't care for the local ale when I gave him some, and made the others think I just poured it on the floor while I talk to myself. I think that's part of why they don't like me. At least I don't think they can hear him.
It's enough to test a guy's faith. Oh, wait, that's the point.
