digitaldiscipline ◾ ◾ Away In the Mange.... errr.....

"Joe, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it, woman? I'm trying to paint goats here!"

"Ummm... the baby ... It isn't yours."

Joseph pauses, turns, and strokes his beard thoughtfully, dripping paint on the manger and one of his sandals. "Has the pre-nup been invented yet?"

[later, on Springer]

Jeremy bar Jeremiah Springer: "On today's show, we have a very special case. This woman [camera zooms in on Mary] says that her husband [camera cuts to Joe in the green room] is not the father of her firstborn child [still photo of Jeshua bar Joseph, perhaps from a kindergarten group shot], but she was married as a virgin [audience "oooohs"] and has been faithful as his wife [scattered catcalls]. Mary, could you explain what in the name of Moses is going on here?"

If you haven't read Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal [Christopher Moore], do so. I can't recommend it enough (though I might try to do so more if I could get kickbacks; I've sold at least a dozen copies because of my inability to shut up about it).

[this can arguably be blamed on

gooddamon dreaming that his wife,

floatingtide was giving birth to the Baby Jesus as part of an amateur Nativity production by a community theater group ... or something like that.]