Depressing..... [the clutch, that is]

[digitaldiscipline]

I believe I have discerned the reason I will be in for unremitting mockery for being foolhardy enough to jump into the NI90 fray - lately, I've been writing stories that I wouldn't necessarily want to read. I see matociquala's enthusiasm for the niftiness of her characters and contrivances, then look at the various chunks of what's dribbled onto the page thus far from my efforts and I'm left thinking, "Who is this sensitive, humanist, sympathetic asshole? Where's the grit, gleam, and cool shit?"

I want to watch ESPN, FX, and Spike... and I'm writing for Oxygen and A&E. Not that there aren't people who want that sort of thing, but I'm not, strictly speaking, one of them.

Warm fuzzies should be my counterpoint, not the crux of the narrative (unless there is something deep in my psyche that I don't really want to face at the moment. Bah, nice guy syndrome, bah!).

I need to recalibrate my internal remote control before I bother setting up to TIVO anything.

Comments

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

As long as the warm&fuzzy *sells*, who cares? There's an unending market for romance novels, for example.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Other than the fact that it's like asking someone to pull my teeth to write it? It's one thing to inhabit the heads of the characters, it's something altogether different to sit at the keyboard wondering "Who the fuck are you people, and what are you doing here?"

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Well, you can always see if you can kill 'em off. If you win, it's a crime story. If you fail, it's a romance.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

The only ones I see dying are an old man (which is good for him), and a young woman (in a non-criminal fashion).

It's the getting to the death part that's suspiciously imbued with Hallmark Network folderol.

[mighty-man.livejournal.com]

Old Man: That wouldn't happen to be the cantankerous old goat, Dr Lucky?

[etcet.livejournal.com]

No, I'm afraid not. This is an elderly black man who was a negro league baseball player in his younger days.

[mighty-man.livejournal.com]

As long as the warm and fuzzy thing sells while killing with style and not shedding a tear until afterwards, who cares?

Full reset button will be pressed in March.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, March.

There isn't an outdoor range with something large-caliber available, is there?

I think we should make a gentleman's wager for the best grouping at maximum distance at the indoor range this time around. :-)

[mighty-man.livejournal.com]

Outdoor Range: There is an outdoor range (we'll pass it on the way to the mine), but I know nothing about it, including if weaponry is available for rent.

Wager: Count me out. Some of the ladies I'm hoping will accompany us will kick our asses, just to take my money.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I wasn't thinking financial; more along the lines of bragging rights and a worthless trinket upon which to hang one's ego. :-)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

ie: The Cosmic Groinpull Safety Pin of Supreme Marksmanship or similar.

[fenixinthedark.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but...

Maybe there is a reason this is what the muse is sparking you to dribble. Though it is not something *you* would like to read, that does not make it crrrrrap.

Just a wee thought. :-)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I have no idea if it's crap or not, but it's bloody difficult to write. *ponder*

[micahra.livejournal.com]

sorry - wrong entry *giggle*

[etcet.livejournal.com]

uh, what?`

[micahra.livejournal.com]

Chicken Butt!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I like to think I have Emu Booty.

[micahra.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much. From this point on I will claim to have always loved That Skirt.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Sounds like me with all my dark, depressing, gloom and doom flowing out of my keyboard. Where in the *world* is it coming from???? AAAHHH!!!!!! While I usually do aim for some sort of personal redemption, man do I make my characters suffer for my 'art'. I'm a positive, upbeat person. An *optimist*! Shoot, I'm a Democrat in Texas who doesn't need Prozac! My writerly alter-ego is a sick puppy.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

My alter ego has apparently watched "The Green Mile" and The Lifetime Movie of the Week too many goddamned times. I'm supposed to be channeling Gibson by way of Ellison with a splash of Moore and Doctorow, not mainlining an urban Garrison Keillor.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Urban Garrison Keillor. Toss in a troll with intimacy issues and you could have a bestseller. For my part, I'm just trying to edge over to the Spielberg side of the force. It's probably my only hope.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

Sadly, I tend to leave that sort of thing to Neil Gaiman. Where's a rogue AI when I need one?

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

Probably helping the Troll out. :-) (And why should Gaiman get all the fun???)

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Think Charles De Lint instead of Keillor. That's much more flattering.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

It's not meant to be flattering; I'm wondering what refugee from the Domestications catalogue has commandeered my keyboard.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

You're just getting in touch with your inner 90s man. Since it's not the 90s anymore, though, you can be forgiven.

Well, unless you get like those refugees from the 70s who were still wearing their broad lapels, chains and driving really stupid Corvettes into the 90s. That's just disturbing.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

The only Corvettes that can be dismissed as "stupid" are the woefully underpowered ones from the mid to late 70's, when 350 cubic inches only generated 170hp. We had one, and it was gorgeous, sounded phenomenal, and handled beautifully, but was a disappointment in the ooomph department.

I may have my plaid shirts, but I tend to view those "sensitive for the sake of getting laid" types in a fairly healthy bucket of lame contempt. *snicker*

[mighty-man.livejournal.com]

I would say anything from say....73 up to the C5, with perhaps an exception for the ZR1 that I saw a few days ago and the Callaway I saw last year.

[juliabk.livejournal.com]

There were some (and it might have been that period, come to think of it) that were the rides of choice of the sleezy, greasy lounge lizard types. (Any Houstonians out there remember Colonial House Apartments? I rest my case.)

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

See, I'm looking for a Warren Ellis feminist who doesn't drink so fucking much.

Alternately, a boy who can write like Sam Beam. (http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Evening-On-the-Ground-Lilith's-Song-lyrics-Iron-Wine/FC9882B9254B09A448256FF800099C03)

Now, that's hot.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I got nothin', even if I drink less. ;-)

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

*snrch*

It's hard being us.

Here, this is funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGIQ6Q-wtVY

(there are three more, previous to this one.)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Oh dear.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

I know, my sense of humor is shocking, isn't it?

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Hardly. But that outsize elf hat haunts me. ;-)

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

*g* I was astounded by how much he could cram into his pants....

[etcet.livejournal.com]

They weren't even specially-engineered stunt pants.

Me? I can tuck a paperback into my waistband, and that's about it. Clearly, it is my penchant for blue jeans and wearing a belt that has kept me from a career on the fringes of slapstick semi-obscurity.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

Yeah, blue jeans are killing my career....

[etcet.livejournal.com]

At least we can't blame the convenient straw man of domestic cleanliness any longer. ;-)

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

Hey, Garrison Keillor has moments of pure wicked subversion. I shit you not.