Sorry, Wrong Number

[digitaldiscipline]

So, about 0330 Friday morning, my work phone rang, and no message was left. Later investigation revealed the caller was from the Fresno area. Obviously, this was a wrong number.

Because it woke me the fuck up, and I'm me, at 6:30, I sent a text message to the caller, so that -their- phone would also ring in the middle of the fucking night. It was nothing spectacular, "Wrong number at 330 am kinda sucks" or something.

They called again at lunchtime yesterday. This is where it gets good.

Yes, it was definitely a wrong number. The caller explained himself that the only reason he'd called as late as he had, knowing it was a Tampa number, was because every other number he'd dialed on his quest for a particular service had gone to either voice mail or an answering service, so he assumed that this one would, too. We chatted amiably for a few minutes while I reassured him that I was most definitely not the person or business he was looking for.

That would be a support and advice service for an affiliate of "How To Be a Player (or perhaps Playa)." Somebody was trying to ask me for advice on picking up and getting laid by women.

Since, naturally, I was playing World of Warcraft at the time, I pointed out that I'd only be able to hook him up with some Night Elves or Gnomes.


He sounded like he'd be okay with that.



CHECK, PLEASE.

Comments

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

'Cause Night Elves are hot. Hur hur hur

[y2kdragon.livejournal.com]

But Gnomes are just the right height.

[lucybond.livejournal.com]

Hahaha!

My favourite wrong number dialler said:

"Is Edward Fishiniva there?"

Me: No...

Him: Is that Anna?

Me: No, I'm Lucy

Him: Ohhhhh! (in an intrigued way)

Took a while to get round to the fact that I was not Edward Fishiniva's new girl...

[smaugchow.livejournal.com]

Gnome chicks make good spinners.

[xany.livejournal.com]

reminds me vaguely of a wrong number (http://xany.livejournal.com/563062.html) I received about a year ago.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

The best part of that story is the fact that they called your house.

Last time I checked, it doesn't move much. Thus, you would be at a non-variable location.

[xany.livejournal.com]

actually, it was to my cell. I was driving up US-19 on my way to a WW meeting in Clearwater.

[txtriffidranch.livejournal.com]

For nearly five years, I had a phone number that previously belonged to a drug rehab clinic in Dallas. Mind you, the clinic closed down five years before I got my number: any number of churches and aid groups kept passing around the same list of obsolete phone numbers, without bothering to check on their accuracy, so I'd get calls at all hours. "Is this Darco?" Three in the morning, no apology for waking up someone, and many screaming at me because their churches gave them that number and it was MY fault that it was wrong. After about six months, I stopped being civil, especially after about the thirtieth call from a Plano soccer mom whose teenage kids were trying to get off heroin, and my apologetic "Sorry, but Darco is closed; this is a private number" received a snippy "Then get me a number where I can talk to someone" in response.

(The best part came when I specifically left a voice mail greeting that said, in part, "This is not, I repeat NOT, Darco Drug Labs." I can't tell you how many messages I got from soccer moms, as Plano had and still has a major heroin problem among the nouveau riche, that started "I know this isn't Darco, but I need to get my son in for treatment"...and included credit card numbers to pay for treatment. As I like to point out, Dallas-area soccer moms are often so stupid that they couldn't spell the initials of their alma mater on their sweatshirts if you spotted them the "S" and the "M" and gave them three chances on the "U".)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I totally sympathize; my phone number in PA had apparently belonged to a hardware store at some point. My answering machine message, for a while, got very, very terse "Hi, this is me, not [whatever the company name was], this has been my number for quite a while, so if you're trying to reach [company], LOOK THEIR GODDAMNED NUMBER UP." *beeep*

[vatine]

At a very previous job, my office number had been (at one point) the contact number for the hearing aid clinic, so I got quite a few calls, wanting to discuss anatomically correct earpieces. Quite hard to deal with, in a nice way, after the umpteenth call.

More close to home, I have a phone number that's not too far from a local taxi firm. I am just happy that they specialise in airport transport and do not do a 24/7 dial-a-cab, as that would get annoying rather quickly.

[y2kdragon.livejournal.com]

I got one. My parents' place in Philly had a phone number that was 2 digits turned around from a Dentist, who lived about 2 blocks away, and his last name sounded VERY similar to my own family name. My dad would get to the point he offered to make appointments.

[ginnyland.livejournal.com]

After about a month of wrong number texts, some with responses, some I would ignore (and the following conversation after the whole sorry thing "who dis iz?" "no you messaged me, who the hell is this?" "dis iz big daddy" wow) i finally told him "ya know, you would think by now you'd learn that this is the wrong fucking number. stop sending me messages!" "Sorry. You don't have to be so rude, I just hit the wrong numbers"

Interestingly enough, after that, he stopped sending me messages.

[mykal.livejournal.com]

You know... porn movies start out this way. It sounds like the beginnings of a wonderful relationship.