Enabling

[digitaldiscipline]

I think I know why I'm such an enabler. I assume that everyone is capable of being open to, and responsible for, their desires and actions.

People hear variations on "no" a lot. I know I sure as fuck do. So most of the time, I'm apt to say "go for it" because it feels good.

Comments

[critus.livejournal.com]

The problem with the two statements above is that they are, on many occasions, contradictory. Things that "feel good" very often do not fall into the category of "responsible" behavior. Now, if by responsible you mean "willing to take responsibility when it blows up in your face" I suppose that makes sense, but it doesn't take into account how said actions might affect other people. Being able to stand up and say "Yes, I did this and I am willing to take whatever happens as a result of doing so" when you knew full well that what you were doing in advance was going to hurt someone doesn't make you any less of a fucktard.

Many times people who hear "no" a lot are only hearing that because they are doing/want to do things they know full well they shouldn't be doing in the first place.

/end perspective flavored by being a parent

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Well, yes.

[critus.livejournal.com]

Now that being said, I am the first one to put my foot up someone's ass who moans to me about wanting to take some kind of acceptable risk but not doing so.

"I wish I could move to X..."

"I would love to ask out X but..."

"I want to go back to school..."

And it harm none, you should get off your ass and follow your bliss.

[crimsoncurlz.livejournal.com]

I agree with your philosophy completely!

[ruefullyamused.livejournal.com]

With a respectful nod to critus's perspective (spot on from the responsibility angle), hear, hear.

Given my own misadventures, I'm generally not one to say "no" to a hair-brained (or otherwise ill-advised scheme), at least without being a hypocrite. After all, nothing's killed me yet. When my own experience *does* require a caveat, I usually sum it up with, "just be careful it doesn't turn out for you like it did for me".

Usually it sums up nicely as "follow your bliss but be prepared to pay the piper". In light of what critus had to say, I *do* emphasis the power of regret, however...apologies for some kinds of asshattery just don't fly and *that* kind of regret sticks.

[ms-cantrell.livejournal.com]

yes, thank you, that sounds like why i don't feel guilty about telling people they should do what they want to do. i'm not enabling a crack pipe habit, but whether it's a night at the bar or a different job or a new pair of shoes - wtf? go for it.

/random reply from long-time lurker