Point. Click. [dammit, need to reload].

[digitaldiscipline]

Yes, Swarmy, your job is hellisher than mine. Doesn't mean mine doesn't suck, yours just sucks more.

Boss: How do I cancel this print job?
Me: I usually walk over and hit the button.
Boss: Which button?
Me: The one on the printer that says ON/OFF.

He's currently muttering and basically kicking an electronic dead horse. "It did it again! It popped up the thing, and then it went away!"

Look, Commander Numbshit, if it printed just fine to the fast, cheap, big printer when I walked you through it two minutes ago, why do you insist on trying to print to the slow, expensive one? It's not like I don't jump up and take the printouts to you when they come out by my right ear anyways. . . . that is, when you're not interrupting the major yet pointless undertaking I've got sitting on my desk to have me do even more pointless and menial shit, like clean a work area that's remaining unused or typing a bit of correspondence that you're perfectly capable of typing yourself.

"Where the hell are those pages I just printed out?"
"I gave them to ____. He's the one you were printing them out for, right?"
"Um, Okay. Thanks."

Even when I'm reading his mind, it pisses him off. Thank god the other guy here is bored and aggravated enough to be willing to do the extra-menial stupid work of reformatting essentially meaningless information, so I'm free to do such lovely things.

Maybe Swarmy is on to something, staying all night - the boss would be gone after hours. The downside, of course, is that I have no idea what the fuck he's doing; presuming, for a moment, that he has the slightest fucking clue.

In other news, I like having sex. I like pizza. And Miller High Life is substantially better in bottles than cans.

Comments

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

And Miller High Life is substantially better in bottles than cans.

cowshit's better dried than fresh too, but you don't see me eating it much, do you?

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Beer snob. *G*

Can't get Labatt's down here for anything less than a limb, so that excludes it from the budget. Thus, low-tier yeast and hops confections are the order of the day.

I'm personally not averse to Budweiser and its ilk. They're nobody's definition of "delicious," but they're a long way from "undrinkable."

Re:

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

there's some really good microbrews out of Tejas that you should be close enough to get. I'll see if I can dig up the names.

Beer Beliefs

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I should warn you now - I'm aggressively anti-pretentious when it comes to beer. Sam Adams is pushing it. Guinness is unpalatable.

I like light, mild, pilsners. The finest American beer I've ever had was a Cave Creek Gold [by the same wonderfully demented folks who make Cave Creek Chili Beer - imagine a Corona with a Jalapeno in it - like getting your beer & chicken wings without the nuisance of napkins, celery, or bleu cheese].

I don't want to be able to contemplate the opaque, beery depths. I don't want to have to chew. I don't get off on complex barley notes or a lingering hop finish.

I want something that's cold, lightly fizzy, about 5% alcohol by volume, and goes equally well with Hot Pockets or Omaha Filet. Most places, this is achieved by saying, "I'll take a pitcher of whatever's cheap and not 'Lite.'"

If I want a tongue-dance experience, I'll get something fancy from in front of the mirror, not out of a tap.

Life's too short, and I'm too poor, to worry about Good Beer. I will instead worry about achieving Good Life, and once that's established, if I feel an aching hole in my existence that cries out for a particular crafting from the brewmaster's art, I will assuage it.

In the mean time, "Gimme a beer."

Re: Beer Beliefs

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

I'm not a beer drinker myself, but Shiner Bock is way popular in Texas. Might be better than the High Life, at any rate. *shrug*

[geekers.livejournal.com]

Damnit, my comment was going to be of similar effect. I quit. ;P

You read your LJ list before me...

Though I can still give my thoughts on MGD:



Thank you.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I Miller High Life's ad campaign, quite honestly.

The manly man's man and I share too many attitudes for me to not support his product.

The fact that K occasionally quotes the commercials to me simply reinforces this.

[timly.livejournal.com]

see, i was gonna say something bright and witty like this.

[smaugchow.livejournal.com]

My job may suck worse right now, but at least your's is entertaining!

[etcet.livejournal.com]

What's entertaining about stupid and obnoxious?

And what the fuck is it that you do, anyways?

[smaugchow.livejournal.com]

OK, it might not be entertaining for you to live it, but it's great fun for the rest of us to read about it on LJ! You are so eloquent when you are wishing a slow painful death on someone! I'm envious.

I am a computer programmer. I work with COBOL (Crusty Old Bullshit Obnoxious Language) on a big-ass mainframe (actually, we have 3 of them now.) It's old technology - I can't deal with a PC to save my life. Anyway, we are changing the database produce we use for our 14+ million emial addresses - going to DB2. It's the first real use of DB2 in the company, so nobody knows how to work it yet, standards keep changing, performance needs to be tweeked, etc. Plus, I have a good chance at a promotion riding on this project, so I want to make sure it's done right.

Corporate middle management, here I come!

ps - did I mention that I'm being paid below minimum for my job title? Don't worry - the company has promised to fix that....within 12 months.