digitaldiscipline ◾ ◾ Things

Was a long, occasionally taxing, but generally decent weekend.

Good news du jour: K has a new gig, starting this afternoon. It's temporary, but it's a paycheck.

If I were a month, I'd be the last two or three days of every month, concatenated together... stressful, chaotic, and furiously getting shit done because it has to be.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Thursday, because the fun is always just around the corner, but there's one more day to suffer through first.
If I were a time of day, I'd be 22:47, since it's fairly random, pretty dark, and phrased in a way not everyone can parse instantly.
If I were a planet, I'd be Mars. Of couse.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be a great white shark, because nothing is more awesome, except maybe this, and that's not a sea creature.
If I were a direction, I'd be back, and to the left.
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be an oversized leather ottoman.
If I were a liquid, I'd be Everclear - one way or another, it'll fuck you up, or mix well with other things for a good time.
If I were a tree, I'd be a tree. I have nothing whatsoever witty to say on this point.
If I were a flower, I'd be frozen and dead, this time of year.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be a goddamned blizzard, combined with heavy fog. Are you *very, very sure* you want to go out in this?
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a big goddamned pipe organ, and, no, that's not an innuendo.
If I were a color, I'd be dark gunmetal grey.
If I were an emotion, I'd be genial contempt leavened with unexpected empathy (As Homer said, "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.".
If I were a fruit, I'd be a big bowl of limes.
If I were a sound, I'd be pink noise at 120 dB.
If I were an element, I'd be depleted uranium.
If I were a car, I'd be a station wagon on the outside, and a Bugatti Veyron under the hood.
If I were a food, I'd be pomegranate seeds in Cool Whip.
If I were a place, I'd be some place very dark; where you are likely to be eaten by a grue.
If I were a taste, I'd be tinfoil with a hint of chocolate.
If I were a scent, I'd be lilac and fresh chocolate-chip cookies (just to fuck with people).
If I were an object, I'd be a broken cell phone in a bucket of honey, surrounded by razor wire.
If I were a body part, I'd be a shoulder.
If I were a facial expression, I’d be an arched eyebrow.
If I were a song, I'd be the live version of "Body Count" by Front Line Assembly, bleeding into Mussorgsky's "The Great Gate at Kiev".