Whatever: Cilantro

[digitaldiscipline]

This is a repost of the comment I left on John Scalzi's blog, "Whatever," on the subject of cilantro.

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I like [cilantro] in extreme moderation, but have a ha-ha--only-funny-in-retrospect story about it anyways:

I seem to be wickedly reactive to artificial cilantro flavoring, at least as it appears in guacamole flavored Doritos.

Note: I hate guacamole, but those green-bagged devils are oddly compelling.

I had one of those snack-sized bags on a flight home from somewhere, like you do, and went to bed, feeling somewhat off. I woke up the next day, feeling more off, in a decidedly abdominal manner. I went to work, and felt progressively greater levels of discomfort, finally asking the one other guy in the office if he wouldn't mind taking me to New Orleans' Charity Hospital (as I didn't have health insurance, being the only non-retired guy in my company, the other fellows had their Medicare and retirement health insurance plans, and like that).

I present to the ER desk around 10am with acute abdominal pain in the vicinity of what google's assistance says an inflamed appendix would feel like - firmness, hot, tender to the touch, an elevated pulse and respiration. As I am not actively bleeding on anyone else present, or otherwise leaking or spewing bodily fluids, nor have anything visibly where it ought not to be, I take a seat, and will be seen eventually.

I spend eleven of the most boring, banal, uncomfortable hours of my life in that waiting room, with nothing more than a water fountain for sustenance, until, the pain having finally abated after my girlfriend arrived to pick me up shortly before 9pm, I go back over to the reception desk and say, "You win. If I come back in, it'll be on a fucking stretcher."

Artificial cilantro flavoring, man. Fuck that stuff.

Comments

[cchan8.livejournal.com]

all my rabbits love fresh cilantro, though it's hard to find in large quantities

[critus.livejournal.com]

A post about cilantro?

Seriously?

I need to find you some busy work.

:)

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Says the guy with a podcast, involving something he calls "production values," about his early days doing theater...

I can only stomach that leadership development book in small chunks.

[i-renovated.livejournal.com]

I think he's posting about cilantro because he misses lexulous.

[mschaos.livejournal.com]

I can't touch any of the dorito products and most other 'flavored' chips, crackers, soups etc due to the MSG content that they are laden with (I have to go with the 'hippy' or 'natural' varieties if I must ingest cheesy poofs

however fresh cilantro has to be done 'just right' otherwise it sort of tastes like dirt

and you don't like guacamole? dang...what about avocado at least? that's the tastiest form of fat out there

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I despise avocado, to the point where if there's too big a hunk, I'll pull it out of sushi,

[kest]

hooray, I am not the only one!

[gatheringrivers]

So glad I'm not the only one that hates avocado... :)

[cheez-ball.livejournal.com]

I can't have dorritos either - for me it's because I can't digest onion or garlic. wee. Cilantro tastes like dimethyl sulfoxide smells, to me. X-P Thus I don't touch the stuff. And lately fat has not been my friend. I love tater tots, but they make me violently ill. *le sigh*

I'll make a note to never serve you the avocado spread on toast sandwich I love. And surprisingly Alton Brown's sardine with avocado recipe was not nearly as nasty as it looked on TV. My only problem was too much fat in one sitting = blar.

[ladysoleil.livejournal.com]

Doritos=hell for me, thanks to the tomato powder that most of the flavors have. I do sometimes cave, since those suckers are like crack, but the resultant itchy rash is quite unpleasant.