The facepalm, it burns.

[digitaldiscipline]

So, it's not a surprise that there is some stupid shit in Leviticus (while it may or may not actually be ancient Hebrew for "the law," it might as well be a litmus test for douchebaggery). Slacktivist does a nice job of rationalizing the cherries he picks by at least using the first and second commandments to inform his fruit choice.

Me? I just make fun of prescriptivist dipshits two millenia dead, because... well, that's how I roll.

But, seriously, some of this stuff seems like it's never, ever been read and applied by any Christian, ever.

You read that correctly. Every Christian breaks Leviticus every time they go take Communion. The Catholics, if transubstantiation is actually a thing, might have a loophole, but otherwise...

"Etcet," you say, "we know you have a hate on for organized religion, but what the fuck are you on about?"

THIS: Drinking alcohol in holy places. (Lev 10:9)

Jesus H. Christ (the H stands for "Hizzownself") even broke them, explicitly, and then every single person who did the body and blood thang just compounds the sin. Funny, I don't see a lot of people getting up in one another's lifestyle-choice grill over that.

No surprise at cherry-picking doctrine to suit one's hateful biases, but, seriously, how much other two- or three-thousand year old bullshit are people still fanatically adamant about on all points? The world has moved on in profound and meaningful ways, and even if it hasn't, what kind of micro-managing assholes make tearing your clothes (Lev 10:6) a fucking sin? Even back then, people were goddamned farmers and stonemasons; that shit was pretty much unavoidable. Shit, I have shirts with small holes in 'em from getting caught in my fucking zipper.

Apparently, dead animals of just about every stripe ought to be left all over the fucking place, given the lengthy list of ones nobody should touch. THAT's fucking sanitary (not to mention oh so fragrant), and we have modern medicine to help cope with the diseases all those flyblown corpses tend to harbor.

... and let's not even get into the rampant sexism of that "thou shalt not boink" litany, because, apparently, women don't have any sexual agency or say-so. I bet things didn't go well for ladies who rebuffed male advances using those grounds, and naught was heard of it. Or, you know, it was a heaping helping of healing stonings for the harlot temptress or some such shit, because men are apparently nothing if not ignorant cock-propulsion devices who can't keep their dicks out of anything warm and concave without a lot of fucking help in the form of rules and shame and not, you know, a modicum of self-control or civility.

As for not cursing the deaf or abusing the blind... these are laws written by people that have obviously never heard of professional sports officials.


There's a complete list of Levictimizations here.

Comments

[yelena-r0ssini.livejournal.com]

P.S. Lev. 10:9 totally doesn't say you can't booze it up in holy places in general, or Purim would be off the market. It says you can't booze it up in the Tent of Meeting, which is the resting place of the Ark of the Covenant. And it MIGHT just be saying that only Kohanim/Levites can't booze it up in the Tent of Meeting but that's kind of a null set since they were the only ones allowed in the tent in the first place. This is one of those rules that completely doesn't apply to anyone anymore because the Temple doesn't exist anymore, kind of like the laws pertaining to animal sacrifice.

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I THOUGHT it had to be a misreading, because my brain was going "but Kiddush!" Makes sense.

[yelena-r0ssini.livejournal.com]

My brain did that and then went through a huge convoluted rationalization about how you do Kiddush at home or in the social hall, and had I ever seen it done on the bimah, and oh shit I HAD so what was going on with that, and then I finally looked it up and said "Oooooh. The Tent of MEETING. That explains everything."