I... argh... what.

[digitaldiscipline]

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm seeing Mr. Freeze being given a kinky blowjob by a being made out of Amazon packing pillows.

This is the outfit that's going to be making a killing conducting (selling) a weight-loss challenge to my company over the next couple of months. As a skilled amateur that people turn to for advice when it comes to getting healthier and into better shape, I'm an elitist dick when I see an outfit that is, at a glance, nothing more than another purveyor of cardio. Yes, the average sedentary cube-dweller will benefit from this (and eating healthier, which is their other angle), on the other hand, it infuriates me to see something this unimpressive be apparently successful (some of which is born of frustration at my own failure to market myself in any kind of coherent or cogent manner), and, on the gripping hand... PICK UP SOME FUCKING WEIGHTS IF YOU WANT TO BE HEALTHIER.

Comments

[jola.livejournal.com]

I'm seeing Tentacle-rape ... only with corn. the ab-guy is being SHACKLED by the corn ... does this mean corn is bad?? ::freaks the fuck out::

[clevermanka.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I can't figure out...is he being attacked by corn? Or embraced by it? Are they saying that corn gives you an eight-pack? WTF is going on with his armpits growing into his lats?

Gross.

[mckitterick.livejournal.com]

I think it's some sorta creepy illustration funded by the corn lobby. As in, "You are what you eat: Corn!"

But, um, what?

[katestine.livejournal.com]

Now I can't unsee that image. Thanks :-P

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I had that epiphany while speaking with a coworker, and now they can't un-see it, either.

"Does that look like... what I think it looks like?"
"OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU."
"You're welcome. Is there anything else you need today, other than brain bleach?"

[i-renovated.livejournal.com]

What is the appropriate safe word for when Monsanto owns you? Oh, right, there isn't one. This guy is getting taken over by the corn giving him a BJ. You just need to write a self-help book and put out a shingle, people buy hope even if it is stitched together with lies and ineffective methods.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

You know me better than that. I won't promulgate half-assed bullshit.

[i-renovated.livejournal.com]

I didn't say you should promote half-assery, that's a comment on the corn logo people. My point is, if people buy lies because of hope, why aren't you packaging and selling the truth? They should buy that as well.

[alicia lusk (from livejournal.com)]

Cornthulu??

-Zollie

[cheez-ball.livejournal.com]

I see Deadpool being birthed by a tentacled grenade.

[cassandrasimplx.livejournal.com]

I don't want to pick up heavy things if it's going to make me look like that.

*ducks*

(I see "The Birth of Venus" meets "The Children of the Corn", but I'm not sure I find it all that inspiring.)