Arr, Aye, etc.

TLaPD. Check. [aside to Gru: parse that as "Talk Like a Police Department" - "Avast, there be scurvy dogs bee and ee ye olde Seven Eleven! Apprehend yon scallywags!"]

There's nothing funnier than a flock of peg-legged sheep. It's baaad for the plank, ye wool-lubbers. However, it's murder on the shears when you get 'em tangled in an eye patch.

Got much cleaning done, in prep for A&A's visit. Ended up calling the city to take away the tree debris [props to Critus for the tip!] - even getting scammed by the chainsaw-wielding redneck, it came to less than 1/5 what hiring a tree service to remove a single tree would have cost. Now, to do something about the small drift of citrus fruit that fell off the orange tree.

Porchy feline minion mothership is preparing to launch a second fleet of shuttles. She's been absent for a couple days, and was looking rather pear-shaped when last spotted. Arbitrary name for the black & white survivor from the first batch is "Tuxedo," pretentiously pronounced in faux-Japanese as "too-SHAY-doh."

Fizz- and Fuzz-sitting went fine - I'll let Sil discourse on Prince's silly new hat.

*hugs* to those who need 'em - from the looks of things, that's a few folks.

So not interested in being at the office today.

(no subject)

angel_sil - Hippie Snurfday [belated]

Tacky Joke Du Jour

The Iranian state was in turmoil, chaos and panic rising all through the land, and a number of the principal ayatollahs convened to ponder the auspices and pray over the matter. They came at last to a conclusion that shocked their leader, the great Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini. The revolution and the Islamic Republic would collapse immediately -- unless Khomeini lay with a woman.

A stunned silence followed as the aged leader considered the news. Finally, he delivered his verdict.

"As hateful as this is to me," Khomeini snarled, "still, if Allah has decreed it, so it must be, for I am but a slave of Allah. But I will attach three conditions."

"Name them, O highest one!"

"First," growled Khomeini, "she must be blind, so that she can not gaze upon my pure being."

"Of course, Holy One! What else?"

"Second, she must be mute, so she can speak no blasphemy to me."

"Beyond question, beloved leader! And the third condition?"

"Third," Khomeini said, "she must have really big tits."

FFF - Rita Edition [redacted]

I feel bad for saying this, but I think Rita's going to take the same path as Katrina, shifted about a hundred miles south. The high pressure ridge over the eastern US that will keep it south will slowly move east, and Rita will track up the back side of it, coming ashore somewhere near the LA/TX border as a Cat 2/3 storm (~125mph).

Every time I try to draw it on a map, it wants to hook north and belt New Orleans. :-/

Baaaaaaahhhhhrrrgggghhhh

LJ Interests meme results

1. being better than you:
   There's an old EA Sports ad series that used the catch phrase, "I'm better than you, and I can prove it." I am, and will. If I like you, I'll even be nice about it.
2. building computers:
   Have screwdriver, will travel. From boxes to bootup in sixty minutes or less, or I'll buy the beer.
3. clank:
   As in, "Things that go _____ in the night."
4. d/s:
   [censored due to adult nature of content]
5. hockey:
   The One True Sport.
6. intoxication:
   Anyone who doesn't know why must be new around here.
7. moink!:
   Random C10 in-joke.
8. recreational reading:
   Everybody and their fucking hamster has "reading" as an interest.
9. the dark side:
   Hell-oooo, Jedi over here. . . ?
10. xbox:
    I didn't even own a standalone DVD player until very recently, and have only one console gaming system. This is it.

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.